I know it is not standard or customary for a wife to send a supplementary letter along with the cover letter and resume, but there are somethings I think you need you to know about my weasel. First, He-weasel’s resume may not adequately reflect this, but he is a workaholic. Really, I am a therapist and I know that workaholic isn’t an actual DSM-IV diagnosis code for this condition, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. It does and he is and you will benefit from this. He will be the first one there in the morning and the last one to go home at night. You want to have a meeting at 2 a.m.? Want to have him come in on Sunday? Want a guy who will take your call anytime night or day? My He-weasel is your guy. He doesn’t know the concept of a 40-hour-work week. And breaks and lunch hours are in his mind childhood constructs that one ought to give up with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. He will work as if your company is his own and because of this we will occasionally fight about this and I will say things like, “You shouldn’t work harder than your boss” and he will say that he knows that I’m right and then he will go right on back to working as hard as he was before. You see, this all goes back to early childhood issues; He-weasel learned from his family working hard would get him love , acknowledgement, and approval. Because of this he is a fantastic and diligent worker. I have even, on occasion, acknowledged his parents for this as I am not quite as industrious as he and I am amazed by anyone who finds the idea of doing nothing to be objectionable.
He-weasel is a extremely dedicated husband and provider and would do anything he could to take care of me, this is one of his highest values. The more he succeeds the better he feels he can take care of me( this is his thinking, not mine) and the more he feels he has demonstrated his love for me, this all goes back to those previously mentioned childhood issues and some left-ever ideas that comes from being second-generation Greek-American. And you see, both of us REALLY-REALLY-REALLY want to get back to Chicago and jobs like his don’t come on the market everyday and, really, I am not just saying this out of any kind of self-serving motive, he is the perfect candidate for this job. You don’t know it, but when you wrote the ad for this job you were in fact writing the description of my husband. He is a brilliant at his job and he has all of the requirements you are seeking and more. You also might be impressed to know that he is so beloved by his employees that when he takes one day off from work (which he rarely does, he has six-weeks of unused vacation time, a pack of unused personal days and nearly all of his sick days. On one occasion when there was a pressing deadline he went into work with a kidney stone. How do you like that for dedication?). And then there is his loyalty, he has loyalty the likes you have never experienced before unless you have a dog. Even though he was born the year of the tiger, he is actually much more of a dog( I mean that as high praise). I see him as a delightful mix of one part working dog, maybe a German Shepherd, and one part curly coated Labrador Retriever. Not that you would be, but even if you were a bit tyrannical and had some unrealistic expectations of your employees, He-weasel would find nice things to say about you ( unlike me) and find ways of rationalizing your crap behavior. Yes, I would try and get him to see that you are too demanding and how it isn’t fair that you are asking him to do the work of two people and how at least if he is going to do all of that work that he should be paid more for it. He, on the other hand, will never complain and he will see if perhaps he could take on more responsibilities. Because of all these wonderful qualities we would of course expect him to get the high-end of the advertised pay scale.
I feel that I must tell you that He-weasel and I are very much in love and we have been happily married for nearly 18 years. While that may not seem important to you, I believe that our long standing and stable relationship speaks to He-weasel’s character. With He-weasel you won’t have an employee who is distracted by domestic disputes. And as I am an only child, an introvert and a writer, I prize my time alone—I just thought you might want to know that. We also have no children which means he won’t have to leave early for soccer practice or school fairs.
In closing, I have included attachments of anticipated moving expenses from L.A. to Chicago. It would be our preference to make the move before Winter begins. Moving once there is snow on the ground is not ideal, but we would be willing to do it if you can’t get your act together before November. I also wanted to reiterate, in case there is any doubt, He-weasel is your guy. Have I made that perfectly clear? Oh, and to demonstrate the above, He-weasel just walked in the door. He said, I didn’t realize how late it was. He was at the office and realized that everyone else had long ago gone home.
Thank you in advance for your consideration. I look forward to meeting you at the Holiday Party. I will be the one next to He-weasel who is raving on and on about how lovely it is to be back home and how lovely Christmas in Chicago is.
Very sincerely,
Belette Rouge, aka Mrs. Weasel
p.s. I assure you that once you hire He-weasel you won’t hear from me again. And I promise, should my He-weasel get the job to write only wonderful things about you and your company on this blog and on all other electronic and print media. I also assure you that any complaints I have about how you overwork him or any other such grievances would be saved for my therapist and not aired on this blog.
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Writers note: Any overstatements, exaggerations, or hyperbole in this document are purely accidental, unintentional and would be motivated by the purest and best of intentions.
So you know how I often write detailed accounts of what I told Igor and what he told me in my sessions with him? Well, there is a school of thought that would say that by my doing that I am damaging the work and even impinging my growth. I have kept this idea in the back of my mind as long as I have been writing about my own personal therapy here on the blog and chose to keep it there, that is until now. Cheryl Fuller, on her brilliant blog Jung at Heart, wrote a post about the importance of container for transformation to occur in psychotherapy and it got me thinking and I felt like I needed to think about/write about this issue as a means of coming to understand exactly how I feel about this and to see if perhaps my writing about my own therapy is helping or hurting my work with Igor.
