Christmas is coming soon and I have not given enough thought to what I want. If I don’t tell Santa what I want I might have another Christmas like 1997 when Santa Weasel got it into his head that I wanted a girl toolkit that contained a pink screwdriver, hammer, etc. and I don’t want that to ever happen again.
Dear Santa,
You are looking really good. Have you lost some weight? Enough about you, now to me. I have been very good this year. Really, it has been a very hard year and I am not asking for a lot. Just 16 little things. I have put links in my letter to make your shopping easier. I want to make your holiday shopping as easy as possible, that is the kind of considerate person I am. And, really there is no reason to have the things wrapped. See how easy I am to shop for?
1. Astrid bouclé jacket at J Crew. At only $228.00 each, you might one to get me one in all three colours: Bright fuchsia, avocado and black. It is not like I am asking for a Chanel jacket. And, remember I really have been very good this year.
2. Kate Spade’s 
Lady Marmalade ball charm bracelet $255.00. A weasel can never have enough charm, that is unless it comes from Juicy Couture. Yes, I so love charm bracelets but I will let you save the Juicy Couture for the under 25 set.
3. La Mer Lifting Serum and Intensifier $315 at Neiman Marcus. I will happily spend money on Botox, Restylane and laser. But, I just cannot stomach spending $315 on a product that is just for firming. Even though I think it really works. Also in that category is Guerlain Orchidee Imperiale Creme for $400. I am sure, for you Santa, price is no object. If that is the case I would happily accept both.
4. Pushing Daisies, Weeds(all four seasons), Mad Men, I and II, The Tudors, I and II.
5. Marc Jacobs Limited Edition Fig Splash Eau de Toilette $68.
6. And, I am almost out of my beloved L’Artisan Primier Figuier $135. I like to mix it with L’Artisan Vanilla. It is not a regular vanilla. Believe me, I hate sweet vanilla. Really. HATE. The Vanilla body lotion from the Bath and Body Works makes me feel mortally ill. L’Artisan Vanilla is not a vanilla for foodies or for those seeking a sweet fragrance. It is more of a smoky amber with hints of spice. I like to wear the Figuier on its own in Spring and Summer. In Fall and Winter I like the depth of warmth that the vanilla adds. In my mind there is no better smell, well maybe He-weasel in Bulgari Aqva.
7. Isaac Mizrahi to come to my house and go through my closet and take me shopping and design me lovely things and name a shoe after me and to be his new BFF.
8. Liposuction. Lots and lots of liposuction and a quick and painless recovery.
9. If not #8 then three sessions a week of Gyrontonics.
10. A literary agent. And, if you get me one of these you can cancel my order for a pony.
11. Good stuff to read: A subscription to McSweeney’s, Creative Nonfiction, Brevity and lots of wonderful memoir and essay, including: The Best American Essays 2008, and The Best American Travel Writing 2008.
12. The Cultivated Life by Jean-Phillipe Delhomme.
13. A huge vat of the most lovely shower gel of all time, L’Occitane’s Almond Shower Oil.
14. A case of good champagne and a respectable amount of Lindt Chocolate Orange Extreme.
15. Tickets to President Obama’s Inauguration. If you could book us at The Mayflower. We wouldn’t say no to the Ultimate Presidential package which includes “a three-night stay in the hotel’s Presidential or Mayflower suite; limo service to and from point of arrival and departure; his and hers inaugural jewelry from noted local gift shop, Tiny Jewel Box; Dom Perignon champagne with Baccarat toasting flutes from Tiffany & Co; in-room massage for two; 24-hour butler service; a custom-designed inaugural cocktail by legendary bartender Sambonn Lek of the hotel’s historic Town & Country Bar; inaugural petit fors specially designed by the hotel’s pastry team; and his and hers inaugural garb from Burberry to keep guests warm during the inaugural ceremony. The Ultimate Presidential package is a one-of-a-kind experience for a cool $51,000.”
Santa, if this is a bit out of your budget we would be very happy with the Inaugural Suite package starting at $1,500 per night with a three-night minimum as long as we get tickets to the Inauguration, invitations to a few inaugural balls and a first-class round-trip flight to D.C.
16. Oh, and, my puppy. I want my puppy. Puppy might like a Burberry collar, a sheep skin bed and a box of dog bones.
Thank you in advance, dear Santa. And, if you let me know what you want to eat and drink when you come to deliver my gifts on Christmas Eve I will be sure to have you whatever you like. You can even take one of the bottles of the champagne that you got me.
Very sincerely,
La Belette Rouge
xoxo
And, what do you want Santa to bring you this year? I am sure you have been good. Ask away and I will pass your list onto Santa.
