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Tag Archive for ‘Champagne’

What I am thinking about Wednesday

1. One little word
The very lovely Irene Latham, the author of Live. Love. Explore, is having a contest in which she is inviting readers to share their key word for the year. As soon as I read about her contest I knew my word. My key word for 2010 is ‘celebrate’. My image for the year is champagne. My resolution for this year is to always keep a case of champagne in our house. I feel like there is going to be a lot to celebrate this year, even if it is only “it’s Wednesday, let’s celebrate”.

2. This Emotional Life
When I first heard the name of this series I thought it was an Ira Glass documentary on emotional health. Even though it wasn’t, and I am disappointed that it wasn’t, it is still a show worth tuning in for. It is a great 3-part series hosted by Daniel Gilbert, Harvard psychologist and best-selling author of Stumbling on Happiness, that explores why happiness is such an elusive goal.

3. Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment
This is the best lip balm ever made( Okay, La Mer’s may be a close second—but at that price it better be). Throw away your Burt’s Bees, Chapstick and Rosebud Salve and plunk down your $22.50 and thank me later. Happiness can be bought—-well, if soft and supple lips equal happiness.

4. My new favorite shoes
I usually hate labels or anything that reads “designer”. Something about these shoes made me break my no-label rule. I put them on with almost anything and I convince myself that I am Margo Tennenbaum. I pretend that the “T” on the shoes are not standing for Tory Burch and are instead for Tennenbaum.

5. My new I-phone that I LOVE VERY MUCH. It is the best phone ever. I am very attached to it. I have it in my hand almost all the time. I am even prone to petting it. Lily may get jealous if I keep it up or start buying it sweaters and treats.

6. I am seeing my Mom tonight and I am not even dreading it. This is proof that therapy works. Seriously, this is BIG.

7. Miracle #2 of 2010. We are, once again, house shopping. And this time I am not even anxious, upset, or at all reticent. I know—it is again proof that therapy works. Thank you, Igor.

8. That I am deadly disappointed that the cardio-hula-hooping class has been canceled. I am not kidding.

9. I am obsessed with this tee shirt. I am not sure why. I have never owned anything in Burned Olive before. Now I feel like my life will not be complete until I have it.

10. I am craving high pulp fresh squeezed orange juice. My cravings are usually for foods that nutritionists put on the naughty list. I feel a kind of moral superiority in having a healthy craving.

Things you may or may not want to know about Igor, eggs, Lily, and etc.

1. I saw Igor on Thursday and told him my latest dream about the bulldozer to see if he understood the subtext of the dream and that I was angry at him. He didn’t get it. In the session I felt nervous and mad and a bit kerfuggled that he didn’t seem to now what was really going on. I then, being that I was in an immature snit fit, told him I was going on vacation and that I didn’t know when I was coming back. It was a rough session and I didn’t have the emotional strength to confront him.

2. I had another ruptured ovarian cyst on Thursday and then resulting pain and anger that I should suffer any pain in the lady parts region after the hell of numerous IVF treatments and my barren state. Not fair.

3. Numbers one and two triggered a crying jag and comfort eating in the form of a carton of Ben and Jerry’s “Half-Baked” ice cream. I felt a real sadness that it might be the end of my work with Igor. Not only is he my therapist but he was the co-star of my memoir and he gave me a reason to leave the house on Thursdays. Even though we had a few bad sessions over all he has been great and I care about him and I know he cares about me. The pain of #2 makes me especially weepy.

4. In anticipation of my appointment on Friday with my Ob/Gyn I was filled with dread, anxiety and terror. I was sure the waiting room with be filled with radiant looking pregnant women who looked ridiculously happy and IVF patients looking bloated, hopeful and hormonal.

5. As I had forgotten the name of my Gynecologist I asked a friend who I though might remember it. She thought she did. My friend was wrong. Once I got there I realized that this was not the Ob/Gyn I used to see when I lived in L.A. before, but instead a well known infertility M.D. I had seen once for a consult before I chose the more famous Dr. Mumbles to be my infertility doctor. For the purpose of this post I will call the doctor, I saw on Friday, Dr. Curt, as she had a curt, harsh and completely unlikable manner.

6. Dr. Curt’s suggestion for dealing with my ovarian cyst situation is that I should go on birth control pills. This was like suggesting going on depressant pills for someone with intractable depression. While clinically this may be a good idea, it is a horrible idea psychologically and I can tell you that I will continue to endure the rupturing ovarian cysts instead of taking birth control pills. For those of you who have never dealt with infertility my refusal to take the pill may sound silly and slightly masochistic and for those of you who have will understand my reluctance.

7. Dr. Curt did a quick review of our infertility history and the many drugs and treatments we underwent to get pregnant only to not become so. She casually asked if we had ever considered egg donor or embryo donor. Truth is we hadn’t, not until she mentioned it. The cost of egg donor IVF is part of why we never considered it. Our insurance doesn’t cover it and we have gone through our savings trying to have a baby with our own eggs and it would be approximately $35,000 for one round with donor costs and medications.

8. After my appointment. with Dr. Curt I needed booze and a lot of it. He-weasel and I went to the Kings Head Tavern in Santa Monica and I drank a cocktail down like it was soda pop. We slurped down cocktails and what-ifed ourselves into all sorts of scenarios. One cocktail was enough to wash away the grief that we do not have the resources to jump into the egg donor pool or a sister on standby who could donate an egg for us so we would have to go through an egg donor agency( $5000 for the agency fee and another $6000 for the eggs). Two cocktails were enough to get us to consider that maybe there was away. Three was enough to make us wonder who is the patron saint of “I need $35K”?

Thanks to Dr. Curt we are seriously thinking about egg donors and embryo donors. As, I have no idea how we are going to manage to pony up the necessary cash to pursue this I thought I might put out a tips jar on the margin of my blog. Who knows, maybe Johnny Depp will come by and leave my seven $4000 tips and then our IVF and egg donor are in the bag. Hey, it could happen.

Just last week I would sworn up and down that I was done and that the door to motherhood was shut and sealed and that there were bricks and mortar behind my sealed door as well as barbed wire and explosives and other radioactive deterrents. One bad session with Igor and one appointment with Dr. Curt and I am dreaming of progesterone shots and early morning ultra sounds—and of a baby.

9. I decided instead of sticking to my “I am going on vacation” story with Igor that I am going to call him and tell him exactly what pissed me off as many of you suggested. I am curious about how he will respond. Should he chose to deflect and not take responsibility for his screw up I am pretty sure my vacation will extend into a more permanent vacation.

10. We walked over to the Santa Monica Sephora and it seemed a perfect time to cash in my Christmas gift card from Santa. I got a nice little haul and I still have 72 cents left to use on my card should the mood strike me to do more shopping. My alcohol, post-Igor and post-Dr. Curt haul included:
Ojon Hair Restorative Treatment, Ren Rose Synergy 012 Restoring Facial Serum, Ren Hydra-Calm Global Protection Day Cream, Jonathan Hydrating shampoo and Rene Furterer Complexe 5. Why all the hair stuff? I am a head case. Ha-ha! No, it is the water here in Valencia and my two weeks of Dove Shampoo and Garnier Fructise that turned my scalp into a dry mess. I think the Dove and Garnier are fine products it is just that I have a very sensitive scalp and my scalp hated these products even as my hair enjoyed them.

11. Too emotionally drained for real food, He-weasel took me to Anisette Brasserie in Santa Monica and we split profiteroles and both had a glass of pink champagne. We drank to the moment as to drink to anything more than that would have led to tears.

12. We came home and walked Lily. Lily ran into one of her suitors Lokey. Lily loves Lokey. Lokey loves Lily. Ain’t puppy love grand?

13. Figured out who the Ob/Gyn I saw before was. Made a note to call her on Monday. This doctor is nice and friendly and her entire aura doesn’t ooze with ” I am better than you.”

14. I made a list of things that I am going to tell Igor I am angry about. I wish I could just send him your wonderful, supportive, smart and strong comments from Thursday’s post and let him do a guest post in which he responds to all of you. I am calling him this morning and hoping to see him this afternoon. I’ll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck.

What I am thinking about today in list form

1. Yesterday I had a meeting about my book proposal with my brilliant mentor and she said it looks great. She said so many lovely things about my book that I was overwhelmed by her sincere enthusiasm and unbelievable encouragement. I turned red as a belette rouge and then went a bit unconscious as there are just so many nice things I can hear before I lose the ability to take them in.

2. At this very moment an agent could be making the life changing decision to represent my book that is a honest, funny, and heartbreaking story of coming to terms with infertility. Sometime today, tomorrow, or the day after or the day after that I will hear something about her decision. I am trying to maintain my calm and not check my email more often then every four minutes. Champagne is well chilled just in case.

3. Jamie Cat Callan has written the book that I have long hoped for( even before I knew she wrote it) in French Women Don’t Sleep Alone Jamie delightfully reveals French women’s well guarded secrets of love and romance and gives fantastic suggestions on bringing these secrets home and no it is not just about lingerie, perfume or the Parisian pout—there is soooo much more. This brilliant and insightful book is to love and romance what French Women Don’t Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano is to diet
(only it is much better and I promise I am not just saying that because Jamie is my dear friend—French women/francophiles are not prone to hyperbole about love or books).

S’il vous plaît stay tuned for more details on my Valentine’s day giveaway that will ad some ooh-la-la to your love life. Should you not be one of the lucky winners Jamie’s guide de l’amour et du romance will be released on Febuary 24th and can be pre-ordered now through

4. I am starting to really like living in L.A. and it is all because of all the lovely blogging friends I have met since moving here, ENC, Leah, Corinne, Fifi, So Lovely, Miss Janey,and Deja Pseu. He-weasel thanks you all as I am much less whiny, complaint filled and disagreeable about our temporary relocation to L.A. after meeting you. One women who really helped me to feel much less grumpy about L.A. is the so lovely So Lovely. We had a post-Igor meet up in Beverly Hills last week and it was fantastically fun. I feel like I am really starting to find my community here in LA-LA land and that is really helping me to feel more at home.

And Thursday I have plans to meet Anna Lefler for a post-Igor luncheon. Our meet up is going to be at an unspeakably chic restaurant and I hope I don’t get kicked out for laughing so hard that I snort, as her blog is so seriously hilarious it should come with a warning label that spit-takes are likely to occur and precautions to protect your computer are highly suggested.

5. As we are approaching spring( even though there was no winter here in L.A.) it is that time of year for me to start longing for a trench coat. Last year I got the Burberry red trench coat and it looked awful on me so I quickly returned it. I am thinking of trying this one from J Crew. Vote yeah or nay, please. And don’t let the fact that it never rains in California influence your decision.

6. I am looking for guides, Youtube clips and any suggestions I can find on how to teach dogs to roll over. I know that there are more useful things I could teach her but it amuses me. I have taught her to come and to sit so I want to teach her a trick before I go on practical things like to lie down or to stay. Once I have mastered all the practical things I am hoping to teach her to dance. There, to He-weasel’s horror, has even been talk of getting her a ballet tutu. Lily is absolutely amenable to my plan as long as I continue to giver her the liver treats.

7. I am thinking I am going to go check my email again. It has been a lot longer than four minutes.

Joyeux Noël

Hope that, if Christmas is a day you celebrate, that it is lovely, trauma free, champagne filled day and that Santa brought you all you deserve, lots of shoes, a puppy dog and a trip to Paris. If not just remember that the after-Christmas sales where you can buy what you really want. Joyeux Noël, mon amies!!

As you read this He-weasel and I are at my Mother’s in Palm Springs today having a ho-ho-hole in one kind of holiday in the land of golf cart Christmas parades and men in tartan plaid Bermuda shorts and Santa’s hats. I should be fine, I brought my own Xanax and several bottles of Champagne. I listened to Ricky Gervais all the way to my mother’s and that is the best thing I can do to keep my spirits bright. Oh, and He-weasel sang his versions of Christmas songs that often have chorus’ that involve lots of “Inkey-dinkey-dinkey-doo’s”.

So, as you read this, we ought to be doing some or all of the following: drinking champagne, eating Brie or a chocolate orange and watching Heat Miser and Cold Miser sing their duet and then there is my traditional annual viewing of “All the President’s Men” that I watch when everyone else is napping( don’t ask why, I have no idea why. Tradition is tradition, best not to mess with it by asking) and then He-weasel and I do our annual walk and debriefing of the day so far and then there will be prime rib slathered with horseradish sauce. Hope you’re having even a better day than we are. If not, have a little champagne, chocolate, Brie and sometime with someone who doesn’t drive you totally cookaloo—and if that doesn’t work then just hold on, breath deep and know that Christmas is only one day and soon you will be back home in your condo, I mean comfort zone.

Happy Christmas!!
La Belette Rouge
p.s. I’ll be back home tomorrow and back on the blogosphere.

Dear Santa

Christmas is coming soon and I have not given enough thought to what I want. If I don’t tell Santa what I want I might have another Christmas like 1997 when Santa Weasel got it into his head that I wanted a girl toolkit that contained a pink screwdriver, hammer, etc. and I don’t want that to ever happen again.

Dear Santa,
You are looking really good. Have you lost some weight? Enough about you, now to me. I have been very good this year. Really, it has been a very hard year and I am not asking for a lot. Just 16 little things. I have put links in my letter to make your shopping easier. I want to make your holiday shopping as easy as possible, that is the kind of considerate person I am. And, really there is no reason to have the things wrapped. See how easy I am to shop for?

1. Astrid bouclé jacket at J Crew. At only $228.00 each, you might one to get me one in all three colours: Bright fuchsia, avocado and black. It is not like I am asking for a Chanel jacket. And, remember I really have been very good this year.
2. Kate Spade’s Lady Marmalade ball charm bracelet $255.00. A weasel can never have enough charm, that is unless it comes from Juicy Couture. Yes, I so love charm bracelets but I will let you save the Juicy Couture for the under 25 set.

3. La Mer Lifting Serum and Intensifier $315 at Neiman Marcus. I will happily spend money on Botox, Restylane and laser. But, I just cannot stomach spending $315 on a product that is just for firming. Even though I think it really works. Also in that category is Guerlain Orchidee Imperiale Creme for $400. I am sure, for you Santa, price is no object. If that is the case I would happily accept both.

4. Pushing Daisies, Weeds(all four seasons), Mad Men, I and II, The Tudors, I and II.

5. Marc Jacobs Limited Edition Fig Splash Eau de Toilette $68.

6. And, I am almost out of my beloved L’Artisan Primier Figuier $135. I like to mix it with L’Artisan Vanilla. It is not a regular vanilla. Believe me, I hate sweet vanilla. Really. HATE. The Vanilla body lotion from the Bath and Body Works makes me feel mortally ill. L’Artisan Vanilla is not a vanilla for foodies or for those seeking a sweet fragrance. It is more of a smoky amber with hints of spice. I like to wear the Figuier on its own in Spring and Summer. In Fall and Winter I like the depth of warmth that the vanilla adds. In my mind there is no better smell, well maybe He-weasel in Bulgari Aqva.

7. Isaac Mizrahi to come to my house and go through my closet and take me shopping and design me lovely things and name a shoe after me and to be his new BFF.

8. Liposuction. Lots and lots of liposuction and a quick and painless recovery.

9. If not #8 then three sessions a week of Gyrontonics.

10. A literary agent. And, if you get me one of these you can cancel my order for a pony.

11. Good stuff to read: A subscription to McSweeney’s, Creative Nonfiction, Brevity and lots of wonderful memoir and essay, including: The Best American Essays 2008, and The Best American Travel Writing 2008.

12. The Cultivated Life by Jean-Phillipe Delhomme.

13. A huge vat of the most lovely shower gel of all time, L’Occitane’s Almond Shower Oil.

14. A case of good champagne and a respectable amount of Lindt Chocolate Orange Extreme.

15. Tickets to President Obama’s Inauguration. If you could book us at The Mayflower. We wouldn’t say no to the Ultimate Presidential package which includes “a three-night stay in the hotel’s Presidential or Mayflower suite; limo service to and from point of arrival and departure; his and hers inaugural jewelry from noted local gift shop, Tiny Jewel Box; Dom Perignon champagne with Baccarat toasting flutes from Tiffany & Co; in-room massage for two; 24-hour butler service; a custom-designed inaugural cocktail by legendary bartender Sambonn Lek of the hotel’s historic Town & Country Bar; inaugural petit fors specially designed by the hotel’s pastry team; and his and hers inaugural garb from Burberry to keep guests warm during the inaugural ceremony. The Ultimate Presidential package is a one-of-a-kind experience for a cool $51,000.”

Santa, if this is a bit out of your budget we would be very happy with the Inaugural Suite package starting at $1,500 per night with a three-night minimum as long as we get tickets to the Inauguration, invitations to a few inaugural balls and a first-class round-trip flight to D.C.

16. Oh, and, my puppy. I want my puppy. Puppy might like a Burberry collar, a sheep skin bed and a box of dog bones.

Thank you in advance, dear Santa. And, if you let me know what you want to eat and drink when you come to deliver my gifts on Christmas Eve I will be sure to have you whatever you like. You can even take one of the bottles of the champagne that you got me.

Very sincerely,
La Belette Rouge

And, what do you want Santa to bring you this year? I am sure you have been good. Ask away and I will pass your list onto Santa.


“Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk. Martin Luther King walked so Barack Obama could run. Barack Obama is running so our children can fly.”
Let the flying begin….


As this weasel popped a few bottles of champagne last night, and drank in the celebration into the early morning, I will cut my post short today and tend to my aching head and read the paper and watch the news just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming it all. I will be back tomorrow with words other than “hooooooooraaaay!”—but today that is all I can say. Hooray is a very good thing to say today.

About Me

My name is Tracey, aka La Belette Rouge. I am a psychotherapist and the author of Freudian Sip @ Psychology Today. I blog about psychology, my therapy, dreams, writing, meaning making, home, longing, loss, infertility and other things that delight or inspire me. I try to make deep and elusive psychodynamic concepts accessible and funny. For more information, click here .
These blog posts are informational only and not meant to replace individual psychotherapy, counseling or medical advice. If you are in need of help, reaching out to a professional may help you decide how to proceed or how to find the care you need. For a referral, contact

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