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Tag Archive for ‘Beauty’


At least I dreamt that I was. In the dream I had been out in the sun and I didn’t have sunblock on. I had remembered that I had been using skincare products that made me especially susceptible to the sun’s harmful rays. In the dream I panicked. “My face”. I somehow saw my face( in a mirror?) and it wasn’t just red it was a purplish burnt looking red. It felt permanent and that I would be damaged by this exposure. That was it, that was the entire dream. When I woke up it had felt like a nightmare. So what does this little dream mean?

Let’s start with where the dream begins: I was out in the sun. What does it mean to be out in the sun? For me, as an introvert with Irish skin, it means that I am in two places that feel a little uncomfortable in( out and in the sun) and in a place that I need to be protected from—I am vulnerable when I am out in the sun. The sun is out in the day time, when all the action happens.  Hence the sun is more of an ego state( masculine) while the moon is symbolic of the unconscious( or the feminine. or the receptive). To get too much sun is to have too much ego state. Sun is light, warmth, and generative but it can also be burning, destructive and killing. The sun is the centre of our solar system. It is symbolic of enlightenment. Carl Jung theorized that the sun was an archetype of the human concept of the Self.

Continue reading ‘Red-faced’

Je désire (a post of wanton desire and lustful, hedonistic and capitalistic greed)

1. Recently Deja Pseu was raving about RéVive’s Eye Renewal Cream. As soon as I read her review I knew I was sold. The problem is that it REALLY works( and that problem comes from this not being a cheap eye cream).  However an eye cream that is cheap and doesn’t work is no bargain( and I have a shelf filled with these eye cream failures). The ReVive eye cream is on my list of BEST MONEY I EVER SPENT( a list I will soon write up and post—this post also features such expenses as grad school and therapy).  It is so magical that know I want the whole ReVive line. After two days of having a sample of their neck cream and their famous Moisturizing Renewal cream I know I must have them. This is where the bad news comes in. ReVive makes this product called ReVive Peau Magnifique. This 28-day program of magnificence costs a whopping $1500. And it is supposed to be used twice a year. I know it is insane( and I assure you I am not even close to considering buying this) however it is supposed to take 10 years off of your skin and people who have used it say that people thought they had a face lift after the 28th day. If it really works $1500 is much cheaper than the cost of a face lift. And, I would rather not ever have a face lift and still look like I did.

2. I want this chair. I am not at all sure why. But I feel sure that He-weasel could make me one. I, he, and you( if you ever came to visit me) would likely never sit in this chair. That said, must we always want things that are functional? Can’t desire just be about beauty, on occasion.

Continue reading ‘Je désire (a post of wanton desire and lustful, hedonistic and capitalistic greed)’

I dream of boots and beauty and making up

My  84-year-old  fantasy boyfriend and the father of Archetypal psychology, James Hillman*, says that a great clinical question to ask patients is “what do you want?” Hillman wants to know what patients are fantasizing about having? He wants to know this not to help them make that desire happen but to get where their libido is and what they are symbolically trying to get. He says that to know what a patient wants it is more important than to know about who did what to who when they were five. Not to disagree with my brilliant BF, but I do tend to think that what happened at five is pretty important stuff, but I also think what we want says a whole lot about us and lately I am wanting stuff. I want lots of stuff. And all the stuff I want is stuff that I wouldn’t dare tell Igor about. Continue reading ‘I dream of boots and beauty and making up’

The cosmology of cosmetics( to be read with tongue firmly planted in cheek)

I have a friend who took tests in college to determine what career choice would best suit her interest, abilities and temperament. Upon completion of this extensive battery of tests she was told that she should be a cosmologist. Every time she tells me that story I say, “You mean a cosmetologist?”. She sometimes gets my joke and on other occasions she corrects me and says, “no, no, a cosmologist.” Most recently she reminded me of her gifts for cosmology as we walked through the makeup section of CVS pharmacy.

Continue reading ‘The cosmology of cosmetics( to be read with tongue firmly planted in cheek)’

12 things I am grateful for and none of them are my teeth

When things are really bad I often get out a legal pad and make lists so as to try to cheer myself up. Lists usually help. Sometimes my lists are “Things I have accomplished in my life”. When I feel really unaccomplished I often go way back just to add items to the list. I will list things like “I learned to walk and talk” or “I graduated from Kindergarten”. Hey, not everyone achieves those things. No, you don’t hear much about the non-walking/talking Kindergarten dropouts but that is only because they can’t talk.
My go to list for cheering myself up is “Things I am grateful for”. On really bad days my list is full of things like: “I can walk and talk” or “I have teeth”. When teeth make the list it is a really bad day. Today teeth do not make the list.
What I am grateful for today:

1. I found an office and I am jump up and down excited. It is gorgeous and it is mine!!!!!!

2. I have my first California client. I am sooooooooo excited. Champagne will be popped.
3. Nars Chihuahua lip gloss is my holy grail/dream lip gloss. It is the lip gloss I have wanted and never knew existed. It is the Platonic ideal of which all other lip glosses are mere attempts at duplicating the perfection that is Nars Chihuahua.It is so perfect that it should be named Nars West Highland White Terrier. I know this is going to be one of those items that I will buy again and again.
( Other items on the ‘I buy again and again’ list include: Bobby Brown gel eyeliner in black; Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer in Porcelain; Pureology shampoo and conditioner for colour treated hair; Trader Joe’s Lavender Body Scrub; Frederik Fekkai’s Protein Mask for hair; Nars All About Eve eyeshadow duo.)( I would love it if you would share your list of ‘buy again and again’.)
4. Just yesterday Igor asked me if I ever thought about teaching at the college level. It turns out that he thinks I would make a great college professor. He suggested I apply to the college where I went to grad school. I love teaching. I just thought it was too late. I thought I was too old. I thought I had to have a PhD. It turns out I might be wrong. Last night I submitted an application to another University for an adjunct faculty position in their psychology department.
5. How sweet you all were to vote on to bee or not to be. The votes have been tallied. My decision is not to bee. The yellow shoes have buzzed off. Thank you all for voting, you helped me make a decision that I couldn’t trust myself to make. As much as I like them in theory the reality of them was a bee of another colour
6. My friend’s, Anna Lefler, hilarious “How To Put On a Sports Bra” is featured on McSweeney’s. This is BIG. Really, it is New Yorker Magazine kind of big. I could not be happier for her. Congratulations, Anna! Today McSweeney’s, tomorrow the New York Times Bestseller list. Note to Anna: Please remember me when you are very famous and powerful.
7. Yesterday I had a lovely lunch with Deja Pseu and look at the gorgeous bracelet she gave me. Thank you, Deja! It looks so rich and elegant and I absolutely love it.
9. Craig Ferguson’s attempt to break out of the box of what late night TV is and in doing so he lost his audience for a night. I love you more, Craigy, than I did before. I so admire his honesty and candor and his willingness to take risks—it is so unusual to see that on TV. It is also unusual to see a comedian who refferences Freud, Salinger, Wharhol, Capernicus, and Salvador Dali. Yes, I am a card carrying member of Craig’s robot skeleton army.
10. February is almost over. March will be better, I feel sure of it.
11. My boyfriend, James Hillman( who is my boyfriend in the same way that Bill Clinton and Cary Grant are my boyfriends). James is the father of Archetypal psychology and a scholar of Jungian theory—and he is likely the smartest man I am too afraid to meet. Let me explain, I have seen Hillman speak at least eight times and he intimidates me and makes me feel like a total idiot and that I am better suited to be at a Dr. Phil event rather than at a Hillman one, so I have never dared to meet him or ask him to sign his books for me or for me to kiss the hem of his adorable tweed jacket. I think my boyfriend is on the verge of becoming the Joseph Capmbell of the 2000′s. It is my hunch that very soon you will see Hillman on PBS. I imagine soon that Bill Moyer’s will have an eight part special in which we will hear Jimmy say things like “Follow no one.”
Why do I think this? Because Big Jim is hobnobbing with Hollywood and I assure you that J. is totally unimpressed and indifferent which I find totally charming. I have been to some of Jimbo’s lectures and have seen John Cleese in the audience and Cleese was hanging on my boyfriend’s every word and seemed to have a big time man-crush on him.
I just discovered that Hilly is going to be facilitating “The Red Book Dialogues” at UCLA’s Hammer Museum. April 20th Hillman and Helen Hunt are going to have a chat about Jung’s genius journal. April 25th he is pairing with Jungian Scholar Sonu Shamadasani. So now you know where you can find me on the 20th and 25th. I will be the dork who arrives at 9 a.m. for the 7 p.m. event, just to be sure that I get front row tickets which will require me to avert Hillman’s gaze should he deign to look at me as I am not worthy for his retinas to come in contact with. Hillman would interpret my extreme enthusiasm and my feeling of profound inadequacy as a raging father complex, and he would be right.
If you can’t make it to L.A. to see Hilly and me, you can find him here.
11. I am going to a four day psychology conference next weekend and I can’t wait. It is going to be a fantastic geek-fest of lectures, learning and obscure theory.
Something about going to psychology conferences makes me wish I could pull off Jenna Lyon’s quirky-professor look. However when I wear glasses I just look plain dorky and not interesting and artsy like Jenna does.
12. The brilliant, kind, warm, and wonderful blogger that is MrsLittleJeans sent this video to Lily. Hope you enjoy it as much as Lily and I did.”

Please share what you are happy about today, even if it’s just teeth. Hope you have a weekend that inspires a list.

What Botox and Juvederm taught me

1. I had a wrinkle and now its gone. Lesson: What is is not what has to be. Change is possible.

2. Change can be fast. I have long held to the myth that real change takes time and struggle and Herculean effort. I was wrong. Winkles, lines and nasolabial folds are gone(ish) in 30 minutes. What else might I be wrong about? What else might change with incredible and almost miraculous speed?

3. Change can be semi-painless with a little Lidocaine. The lesson from this is that numbing out to not feel something is not always a bad thing. I have long held to the *feel the burn* camp of emotional suffering. Maybe, every now and then, it would be okay if I numbed out.

4. Lidocaine shots hurt too, i.e. even what you use to numb can still hurt you, if even just for a second. It was still less pain than it would have been without the Lidocaine. Lesson? Uh, how about, what starts out as pain may ultimately heal?

5. Even though my Doctor looks, acts and dresses like an archetype of a midlife crisis it doesn’t mean he isn’t a talented injector. Life lesson: Don’t judge a doctor just based on the fact he looks like a cast member of Dancing with the Stars and/or don’t judge a book by its cover ( unless Fabio is on the cover, then feel free to judge it).

6. Juvederm hurts less than Restylane. I can’t really extrapolate this into a life lesson. Anyone have any ideas? Ooh, how about youth (Juva) is a natural state while rest( is a stopping of action and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. So stopping the action of aging is more difficult and hence more painful than it is to return skin to its natural and youthful state? Points for creativity?

7. Restylane is cheaper than Juvederm. But Restylanse only lasts six months and Juvederm lasts a year. So Juvederm is cheaper in the long run. The lesson? What seems cheaper isn’t necessarily so and then there is my grandmother’s old maxim about not being penny wise and pound foolish. Hey, if I got a collagen I might have pulled out her favorite, “don’t give away the milk when you can get the collagen for free” or something like that.

8. I love things that offer instant gratification. I suppose I knew this before. Instant gratification is mostly better than delayed gratification. Actually I like gratification both now and later.

9. Money can buy a little happiness if you know what doctor to see.

10. Frown lines gone make me smile however if I smile more I will get more frown lines. Ooh, that is deep, kind of like a Zen Koan.

Note to the manufactures of Juvaderm and Botox: I would be delighted to tour the country for you and give this heartwarming lecture on how fillers can change your life. You can pay me in product or cash, or product and cash. I am also open to just cash and buying my own Botox and Juvaderm. I’d even settle for a discount.

About Me

My name is Tracey, aka La Belette Rouge. I am a psychotherapist and the author of Freudian Sip @ Psychology Today. I blog about psychology, my therapy, dreams, writing, meaning making, home, longing, loss, infertility and other things that delight or inspire me. I try to make deep and elusive psychodynamic concepts accessible and funny. For more information, click here .
These blog posts are informational only and not meant to replace individual psychotherapy, counseling or medical advice. If you are in need of help, reaching out to a professional may help you decide how to proceed or how to find the care you need. For a referral, contact

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