Comments for La Belette Rouge

Comment on Life After Infertility ( How to Let Go and Move On) by Christine

Christine — Sun, 19 May 2013 04:41:23 +0000

It’s been 7 years! We’ve already decided we will try three more times. Tonight is the failure of the first of the last three attempts. I am so grateful I found your post tonight. Your story has helped me feel less lonely and has given me some perspective and comfort. Thank you! I have to try to figure out what to do with myself now. Repeated attempts have offered me hope. Adoption is not an option, because we are a lesbian couple and Gay Adoption is illegal in our state. I have a nursery to disassemble and the thought of it is unbearable. I guess the first step is just to think about it. I feel scared when I think about it. Often times after failed attempts I go out and buy baby clothes to give myself hope. Sometimes I hold the clothes and imagine holding the child that I so desperately long for. Now I have to figure out how to say goodbye and figure out how to let go. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. It has helped me tonight!

Comment on “Just adopt”: Four women take on the topic by Catherine

Catherine — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:33:07 +0000

This is a great article, and some fantastic discussion. I’m really glad to have read it.

When people ask me why I don’t adopt, I tend to say “for the same reason that you don’t”. This makes them think a little more about what adoption might actually involve. It also seems to shorten what is otherwise quite a painful discussion.

Good luck to anyone who is dealing with this issue at the moment. It’s so tough, but at least reading this article you know you’re not alone.

Comment on “Just adopt”: Four women take on the topic by Rachell

Rachell — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:34:32 +0000

Love this post! I completely understand every word. We are parents because of domestic adoption. He was taken away from us for almost 7 weeks by his birthmother. At the time, not knowing she would be giving him back, I literally wanted to die. After 2 failed IVFs & being told biological children were not going to happen-losing our son did me in. I actually didn’t want to live. My husband would say that I was the only family he needed. I unfortunately didn’t feel the same way. It was the darkest time of my life. I never knew I could physically hate someone as much as I hated her for taking him away from us. In our case, it wasn’t because she ‘loved him & couldn’t live without him’-it was simply because of circumstances that because he was born under 30 weeks & under 3lbs-she was eligible of getting a SS check for him. It was all because of money. So I knew that he was not being taking care of correctly-not loved like I loved him. I-wanted-to-die. When we got the call that she changed her mind again, it was very hard to go there again. She agreed to give us full custody of him immediately (as we had just moved to a new state & had a time limit before filing for adoption).
All that to say, ‘just’ & ‘adopt’, yeah, it burns me up to hear those words put together as advice for infertiles.

Comment on “Just adopt”: Four women take on the topic by The top 5 things to say, and not say, to someone who hasn’t got a child | No Children, What Now?

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:17:44 +0000

[...] more information on “just apopt” this author, La Belette Rough, explain just and adopt cannot be sat next to each other in a [...]

Comment on It’s my Pi day and i’ll be irrational if I want to by Kayleigh

Kayleigh — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:45:58 +0000

Well hello Miss Rouge — how ARE you???

You look lovely, what a pretty face Remember me? I’ve been slowly making the rounds to all my old bloggy friends and popped in here. I know this post is a month old, but hopefully you’ll see this — if not I’ll keep my eyes open for your next one. Seems like alot has happened since we last were in touch…but as usual your flair for words has turned it all into wonderful grist

Missed you — “see” you soon!

Comment on Life After Infertility ( How to Let Go and Move On) by Anon

Anon — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:00:59 +0000

Hi there,
So much of what you said resonates with me. It’s taken me nearly 3 years to come to terms with my infertilty, but I think I’ve finally got there. The biggest help for me was writing down how I was feeling. I can talk to my husband, but sometimes it gets a bit much for both of us discussing it all the time, so for that reason I started a journal type blog. I’m not a writer at all, but it’s helped me to focus on my issues that would have been otherwise swimming around in my head. Like you said, the passing of time and grieving is a key to healing and accepting. In a way, I’m grateful that IVF wasn’t an option for us because we were able to get “closure” much quicker so that we could move on and look to the future. Thank you for the excellent read!

Comment on Don’t read unless you are infertile, childless not by choice and/or bitter, really-don’t by Kim

Kim — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 14:34:27 +0000

I’m currently searching the web to see if there are any support groups which I could perhaps chat with others about not being able to have a child. It’s ironic too in the fact that I’m a registered nurse who works in the neonatal intensive care unit. Most days I’m ok, but now at age 43….I can’t seem to suppress these feelings of sadness. I had endometriosis & had to have both ovaries & my uterus removed last year. It’s been a tough journey.

Comment on “Just adopt”: Four women take on the topic by Michele Albert

Michele Albert — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 12:10:18 +0000

Thank you for your post. It makes it easier to bear knowing there are others out there who have had similiar experiences to mine. It helps to know I am not alone…..

Comment on Sex and infertility: How infertility f%@!d up my sex life by myinfertilitywoes

myinfertilitywoes — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 01:09:25 +0000

How brave of you to write about this… and in a weird sort of way, I’m jealous! Good for you for being able to ‘just have sex!’ He, he…

Feels nice to read about those times again… new-ish love and that excitement.

You go! Yay!

Comment on It’s my Pi day and i’ll be irrational if I want to by Serena

Serena — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 18:51:44 +0000

Sounds like a perfect and extremely rational way to celebrate your birthday!