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#1-5 of 365 things that don’t suck about Southern California

As you may know I am having a bit of a hard time achieving my goal of coming up with 365 things that don’t suck about L.A. Happily, my dear friend, Enc, the author of Observationmode has kindly agreed to help me meet my quota of nice things to say about Southern California. Also, for the record, the fact that I get to see her every month or two for lunch and shopping at South Coast Plaza in the O.C. is #43 of 365 things that don’t suck about L.A. And, yes, she is from Chicago.

La Belette has graciously asked me to do a guest post on “Five Things That Don’t Suck About L.A.” I was honored to accept her invitation, but the trouble is, I don’t live in L.A. I live much farther south, in North San Diego County. So I can’t give an L.A.-specific viewpoint for my five things that don’t suck. But I can give a highly-relevant Southern California perspective, one that is applicable in half the state, so I think I have a leg to stand on. Let’s begin:

1.  No ice scrapers!

This one is obvious—most people think of beautiful sunny weather when they think of Southern California, and most of the time, there is sunny weather here. On the few days it isn’t sunny, it’s overcast, but never snowy. Not by the beach, anyway. If you go to the mountains, you’ll regularly experience snow, but you can make a choice not to go to the mountains, and that’s my choice.

Growing up in Chicagoland, in the darkest depths of winter, I wore so many clothes under my down jacket (now called “puffer” for some unknown reason); I looked like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man. (Hmmm. Maybe the Sta-Puft reference is a clue to the new name for down-filled winter outerwear!)

If I had to go somewhere, that meant suiting up in my Sta-Puft costume, followed by waddling out the front door, and wading through the snow, out to the car. Cars were regularly buried under blankets of snow. Beneath that snow was a layer of ice. To drive someplace during winter months, one would have to really plan ahead. One would have to allow at least 20 minutes for the following activities: tunnel to one’s car; dig out the door handle; get in; start the car; get the engine warmed up; turn the heater on; shut the door; begin scraping.

Every single motorist had one of those brush/scraper/squeegee things in his/her car in Chicagoland (and other Great Lakes states). You had to, or you’d never make it out of your driveway in January or any other winter month. Ours got a lot of use. The best fun was trying to use that brush to get the snow off your car’s roof. Invariably, the snow would go down the sleeve of your jacket, and all over you. Give up on looking good, ladies and gentlemen, you’re automatically bedraggled after a snow-removal session.

Sometimes, the ice was so stubborn and wily, some part of the brush/scraper/squeegee thing would snap, leaving you with only semi-effective pieces, and not a lot of power to scrape. You learned to improvise what whatever shards you had left. You’d scrape and scrape, and you’d succeed valiantly getting the windshield clear, then you’d move to the back window, and get about two thirds visibility on that. This took about 15 minutes. Ten, if you were a seasoned ice warrior. After about six minutes, your arms would get tired, the muscles would burn, and your standards would change: gouging out four-inch peepholes for visibility on the side windows became acceptable. It was always an epic struggle, and to be able to back out of the driveway without wrapping the car around a tree would be considered a triumph.

I don’t miss winter weather at all!

2.  Lots of fresh produce and seafood all year ‘round.

This one means a lot to me, because I really rely on the stuff. I don’t eat meat, and I only eat a small amount of seafood, so I need all the fruit and veg I can get. Things are in season longer, there is more variety, there is more inventory, and things just plain taste better.

The seafood is superb here. Of course, lots of it is frozen, but I never seem to taste it here. Growing up in Chicagoland, all the fish seemed to taste “fishy.” Here, it never tastes that way. And the sushi is fantastic. There are sushi places everywhere, and the quality is brilliant. Even the fish in the grocery store is great. There’s more on offer than just fish sticks here. I consider myself extremely lucky to live here, near so many foods that I love.
3.  We’re a test market.
We get new flavors of gum (Mint Chip), wacky fruit (Mango/Nectarine hybrids), new car models (The Toyota “Hardbody” mini pickup truck), silly snack foods (Oreo Cakesters), and crazy soda flavors (Vanilla Coke). Life around here can be very entertaining. I’ve tried that gum (yech) and that fruit (bitter, but interesting). I’ll skip the other items, and just sit back and wait for the next item to hit the shelves (or street, as logic dictates).

4.  Really good shopping.

If I want to drive for two hours, I can be in Beverly Hills, and hit Rodeo. If I am feeling less adventurous (read: lazy), I can drive an hour or so in either direction to two very superb shopping malls. In these malls, I can visit Hermès, Prada, Jimmy Choo, Carolina Herrera, Chanel, Hugo Boss, Miu Miu, Christian Louboutin, Donna Karan, Salvatore Ferragamo, Balenciaga, Chloé, La Perla, Giorgio Armani, J.Crew, Adidas, and Nike.

Mind you, I don’t ever buy anything in any of those stores except the last three on the list. (Well, that’s not entirely true: I’ve bought things in Chloé, but not for some time.) But I like to look, and absorb the atmosphere, and be in the presence of beautiful handbags, shoes, and clothes as much as the next girl. I always enjoy walking into those up market stores wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a t-shirt, because you can do that here. It’s certainly not tasteful to appear dressed this way in these shops, and it’s probably not respectful, but we all do it (locals, I mean), and sometimes the most casually dressed people drop the most cash. Luckily, shop employees understand this and are willing to help. All it takes is some politesse.

5.  We have Rubio’s.

Rubio’s is the only fast food I’ll eat. Fish tacos? Yes please! Go ahead, everyone, groan. I did too, when I first heard about them. When I moved to California in 1989, I thought fish tacos sounded awful. After eating soggy fish sticks in the school cafeteria and at home, I couldn’t imagine anything less . . . congruent. Or less appetizing. But it makes perfect sense if you look at things geographically. Both tacos and fish are local, so why not combine the two? Mind you, I don’t eat the batter-fried versions, because I don’t see the point in fried fish covered with oily breadcrumbs. I eat the ones with grilled fish. I’m a fish taco snob.
When I was on an extended stay in London a few years ago, I invited some people over to my place for fish tacos. It took some convincing, but they kept open minds, and became fish-taco converts.

As I survey this list, I see that it’s strongly slanted toward food. Perhaps I need to branch out a little, and learn more about the world around me than just what’s for dinner and where to buy workout clothes. Eh, maybe not! Thank you for reading, Ladies and Gentlemen! It’s time for me to go get a snack.

~enc

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(365 Things that don’t suck about L.A.)

2785602RR006_Paltrow 35. Now that I live in Valencia I am only an hour away from Santa Barbara

The drive from on the 126 from Valencia to Santa Barbara is absolutely gorgeous—the kind of gorgeous that is what I imagine people who have never been to California imagine California to be.  I’ll take pictures the next time I go ( next month and every month after). Being close to Santa Barbara really does not suck.
Continue reading ‘35-42 of 365’

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(365 Things that don’t suck about L.A.)

26. I have tickets to the Late-Late Show with Craig Ferguson and I am so excited. There are lots of opportunities to see the filming of shows in L.A. only I never do it. No, that’s not true. There was the time I went to see Phil Donahue when he filmed in L.A. for a week , about 20 years ago. I had a bit of a crush on Phil. He was my Oedipal Complex crush #1. (I suppose I still have a crush on Phil, it’s just that when I fell for Oedipal Complex crush #2, Bill Clinton, and Phil went off the air, I sort of forgot how much I loved Phil). I was so smitten and love struck that I had delusions that when Phil saw me in the audience he would leave his do-gooder wife for me. Yes, I was mildly delusional. I have no such hopes with Craig. Well, not entirely true. I feel like if Craig met me he would find me highly amusing and we would be pals. If you want to test your delusion by attending a taping of your favorite TV show when you are in L.A. check this out.

27. Now that it is coldish in L.A. I am finding that I don’t really miss the subzero temps of Chicago. L.A.’s Winters don’t entirely suck. Summer does. Fall does. Winter does not.

28. Being in L.A. forced me to work on some issues that I wouldn’t have done otherwise. If it weren’t for being in L.A. I wouldn’t have worked with Igor. If I hadn’t worked with Igor it is likely I would never have been open to adoption. Being in L.A. changed my life. I hate to admit it but it is true.

29. The Getty Villa. The Villa is the original Getty center and it is absolutely gorgeous. I think that truth be told, as much as I love the new Getty, I love the Getty Villa even more than the new Getty. It is a must see if you visit L.A.

30.Overhearing conversations in the bathroom at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills. Yesterday I overheard two women talking about their hair. One woman said to the other, “I get the back of my hair cut by Lars. And, Jacques cuts the front of my hair.” Woman #2 also admitted to having two different stylists for different parts of her hair. Seriously, where else in the world would you hear that conversation?

31. My hair angel, April, at Dej Salon. Tell her I sent you. Thank me for how good looks after you see her.

32. The Hungry Pocket Falafel House for falafel in Santa Monica. It is divey-dive-dive and yet when a falafel craving hits we get on the 405 freeway and then on the Santa Monica freeway and then get off at Pico and drive up towards Santa Monica College and then hope against hope that maybe we can find a parking place. Then we try to find a place to sit among the college students and then the ordering of delicious falafel and kabob begins.

33. L.A. is just an hour and a half from Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara does not suck at all. Things I love about Santa Barbara: The trees, the architecture, the weather, Santa Barbara Shellfish Company, La Super Rica, The Saks Fifth Avenue on State Street, and my memories of going to grad school there. Even the drive to Santa Barbara is gorgeous, that is if you take Pacific Coast Highway.

34. The scent of Eucalyptus trees at the 5/405 freeway interchange. It only lasts for a mile or two but the scent always makes me happy.

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(365 Things that don’t suck about L.A.)

26. It isn’t Death Valley, California


27. Japanese strawberry cake
Truth be told I am not a big fan of cake, I prefer frosting. But if I am going to eat cake it is going to be the light, fluffy, delicious, cream and fruit filled Japanese strawberry cake from Sweetie’s bakery in Gardena. Japanese strawberry cake is made of sponge cake, strawberries and whipped cream and you can get it with or without nuts. My preference is with nuts.

I have heard in Japan that this delicacy is considered a Christmas Cake called the Kurisumasu keeki. Really, we should take on this cake as a Yuletide tradition and dump the nasty, dry and inedible fruit cake and take a cue from our friends in the East.

It is not a beautiful cake and is nothing fancy, I admit. And I feel sure that Martha Stewart and the Ace of Cakes guy would be horrified by its lack of fondant and its very low brow presentation. I don’t care. No matter how amazing a cake looks I can usually only get myself to eat the frosting. With this cake I could eat my piece and yours if you found it too frightening looking or if you were on a low carb diet or if you had left the table and were taking too long to get back. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

28. The Disney Concert Hall
I love this building so much that when I lived in Chicago, the city known for its architecture, I would dream of this Los Angeles landmark. I have made special trips downtown just to see it. Without question it is my favorite building in Los Angeles. I think it is the building that has changed the energy of downtown L.A. To me the Disney Concert Hall is a kind of ship, and each time I see it I am transported to a place I have never been before. And for a building that stands still to be able to transport you—that is quite a special building.

If you come to visit me in L.A. I promise this is one of the places I will take you to, not necessarily to go to see a concert as I am not as interested in that as I am the brilliant building. If Frank Gehry didn’t have this fantastic building in L.A. I would be much more miserable here. I love you Frank.

If you love Frank too I highly recommend the Sidney Pollock’s documentary,”Sketches of Gehry“. Here is a clip of the film in which Gehry talks about this magnificent building.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht6lqFfhk1M]

29. The Botox is cheaper
In Chicago I was paying $650. In L.A. I am paying only $250.

30. The coleslaw at the Original Pantry
As soon as you get seated at a table at the Pantry one of the waiters brings you a plate of coleslaw and a loaf of sourdough bread. I am VERY picky about coleslaw and the Pantry’s slaw is not too sweet and too vinegary—it is just right. As much as I enjoy some good coleslaw I would never make a trip downtown just to go to the Original Pantry but if I am there already to go to the Museum of Contemporary Art or the Disney Concert Hall( these are the two reasons I go down town) then going to the Pantry is an obvious choice. The Original Pantry is an L.A. institution and is old timey and old school. The waiters are older men who are grumpy and will not abide special orders. It’s cash only. There are very long lines. And those are just a few of the good parts of the Pantry experience. I don’t really go there for the food, other than the coleslaw, it is just okay. It is more for the experience of being in a place in L.A. that has history. The Original Pantry opened in 1942 and in L.A. years that is ancient history. I also like the mix of people you see at the Pantry, it is one of the few places in L.A. where you will see business men in suits, Mexican families, Hollywood types, USC students, tourists and the very few that actually live in downtown L.A.

31. The parking lot attendant guy at Igor’s
Did you ever see the movie “Under the Tuscan Sun“? You know the guy that brings flowers to a vase on the wall by Frances’ villa? Everyday Frances tries to say hello to the man and everyday he ignores her and after a year or so she finally gets a hello from him. Well, I have my own “Under the Tuscan Sun” guy. He is the parking attendant at the two hour free park in Beverly Hills. Every time I saw him I was friendly. I said hello. I asked him how he was. I wished him a nice weekend. Each time he would ignore my overtures at friendliness. Last month I finally broke through and now I get a smile, a “hello” and when he is feeling very chipper he will wish me a nice day.

32. The light
Paris obviously( obvious to me) has the best light in the world. And there is something incredible about the light of a sunny yet freezing cold day in Chicago. As much as I hate to admit it L.A.’s light can be beautiful. On a clear day( not often), when the Santa Ana’s ( which He-weasel tried unsuccessfully to convince me that Santa Ana means “Hot winds from the north”) blow away the smog, there is a certain quality to the light that makes one understand what initially drew people to this place when it was nothing but a big traffic free orange grove.

33. The Real Postmodern Philosophers of the O.C.
Jacques Derrida and Jean-Francois Lyotard these two gods of postmodern philosophy could have stayed at the Sorbonne. They could have got teaching gigs at Harvard or Oxford or anywhere. They chose instead to come to the University of California at Irvine. Irvine? Have you been there? To my mind Irvine is the Valencia of Orange County. There are MPCs (master planned communities) everywhere with names like m> Portola Springs®,The Gated Oak Creek Community, and Crystal Park® and there are plenty of potential cast members for the Real Housewives of Orange County roaming the streets in their SUVs. That said, I am sure that there was plenty of post modern irony in Irvine to keep Jacques and Jean rolling in material. I wonder if Jacques and Jean ever ran into Vicki and Jeana at happy hour. That would make for some ironic post-modern fun. Bravo, are you listening? Pair two French academics in an Orange County beach house with two real housewives from the O.C. and let the fun, philosophical debate and irony begin. I feel sure there would be an episode where Vicki would take J&J; to South Coast Plaza and try to talk them into some Ed Hardy clothing and some man-scaping at the Red Door Spa. If only I had come up with this idea for a reality show before Jacques and Jean died. I could have been rich!!!!!!!!

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Good news on the Kindle front, as of October 19th there will be a Kindle for those outside of the U.S. The international Kindle will be available for $279. Why do I tell you these glad tidings? Just in case you wanted to get a Kindle so you could subscribe to La Belette Rouge on it and thought you couldn’t because you live in glamorous locals outside of the USA.

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(365 Things that don’t suck about L.A.)


19. Roscoes chicken and waffles
A town cannot be all bad that has a restaurant where you can get waffles and chicken on the same plate. I am sure that to many of the uninitiated this combination sounds disgusting. Let me assure you that it is not. And yes, the syrup does indeed go on the chicken.

20. Lake Shrine Temple in Pacific Palisades

The first time I ever went to Lake Shrine was on a field trip in the 5th grade. It was the kind of field trip that is completely devoid of an educational merit but it was a decent day walking around the gardens and it was a relief to get out of Mrs. Grumpypants classroom. As I went to parochial school I don’t think we were told that Lake Shrine was built to honour Paramahansa Yogananda the author of Autobiography of a Yogi. I think Mrs. Grumpypants focused on the botany of the place and ignored the theology.

It was years before I went back to Lake Shrine and it was in my seeker phase when I was trying to find insight, enlightenment, and a great job all in an afternoon. I thought maybe a two hour trip to Lake Shrine might change my karma and turn my life around. I didn’t find what I was looking for but I did find beautiful gardens—and the fish, swans, turtles, windmill, are nice too.

I like all of the beauty of Lake Shrine but I am not a big fan of the woo-woo and there is plenty of woo-woo to be had if you look in the right place. I had a friend who was a member of the temple at Lake Shrine and she had a priest who lives there tell her that leprechauns and fairies frequent the place. He literally believed they were there in the garden. I have been to Lake Shrine and I have yet to see any mythical creatures coveting among the gardens. You aren’t likely to see any either but you might run into celebreties. I have heard that it is a favorite place for many celebrity moms to take their kids to feed the swans.

It’s free, beautiful and better than a day at the beach( less noise, less kids and less chance of getting sun burnt).

21. Lily will be in a parade
I can take Lily to the worlds largest Halloween dog parade, “The Haute-dog Howl-oween parade” located in Long Beach, CA( a suburb of L.A.). There will be pictures and videos of Lily’s first parade but until then here is a video of the 2008 parade.


22.Casas Fantisticos y Romanticos

Spanish style architecture that can be found in the L.A. area( only not in Valencia. Valencia doesn’t have architecture. We have master-planned communities). California Romantica is a gorgeous book by Diane Keaton that beautifully illustrates her love for California architecture; Casa California by Elizabeth McMillion gives a tour of Spanish architecture up and down the coast. I would love to have almost any of the houses in these two beautiful books, I just would prefer if the house happened to be in Santa Barbara instead of Los Angeles.

23. Diane Keaton lives in L.A. and maintains a style, sophistication and joie de vivre that would seem to be more at home in NY, Paris or London. But, I suppose if I could afford a Spanish mansion in Beverly Hills I might be somewhat happier about being here. On a side note, many moons ago, I had a short-term boyfriend who told me that the way I talked reminded him of Diane Keaton. I think I dated him longer than I should have just so I could pretend for a moment more that I was Diane and he was Warren Beatty. Truth be told he was more like Woody Allen. “La-de-dah, la-de-dah!”

24. Andersen’s Split Pea Soup
I only like the vegetarian kind and not for health reasons but because I don’t like the kind with bacon and I don’t like the split pea soup that they serve at the Anderson restaurants as it just tastes different, maybe the can adds to the flavor). It is my favorite canned soup of all time and a definite comfort food. I always have at least six cans on hand just in case of an earthquake, an apocalypse, or worse, in case Andersen quit making my favorite soup. Since moving back to L.A. I have learned that I could have bought the soup mail order ( or you can get a case from Amazon.com for $32.99) and I didn’t need to have friends and family send me cases of the stuff.

25. King’s Hawaiian Bread
My favorite accompaniment to the S
wedish soup is King’s Hawaiian bread, the two pair perfectly together. King’s Hawaiian Bread is a actually a Portuguese sweetbread which is made here. I rarely indulge in the bread as it is almost as sweet as a donut and is a white bread with no redeeming health benefits, but it is delicious and even more delicious with the soup.

Note about this series: The farther I get along in numbers the harder I am working at this. I just want you to know that it is back breaking and soul straining work—- that often requires naps and chocolate just to recover from—for me to come up with things that don’t suck about L.A. I may make it look like it’s easy but that is because you don’t see me doing( it is kind of like sausage making in that way). So just because I am amassing a significant list of things that don’t suck about L.A. doesn’t mean that “I love L.A.” is in on my I-Pod. 25 down and 340 things to go.

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(365 Things that don’t suck about L.A.)

11. Cesar Millan is my neighbor
I am not a big fan of Cesar’s. I would much prefer it if Victoria Stillwell lived in Valencia. If she did we could walk our dogs together and share sources on red lipstick and brush each others hair and she would teach Lily amazing tricks and we would go out for tea. I have no such fantasies with Cesar. But it kind of cracks me up to think I might run into Cesar at the local Petco making those crazy noises at his dogs. If I did I would point him out to Lily and tell her that I promise never to make those silly noises at her. She would thank me by wagging her tail wildly and kissing off my red lipstick.

12. No ice and that’s nice
I have recently had some fantasies of moving back to Chicago, as I am wont to do, and lately the winter weather has put a kibosh on some of my favorite fantasies. I hate ice. I hate the bogeyman of black ice that I anticipated as I drove on highway 41. I hated tip toeing on ice in terror of falling. I hated falling on ice and the resulting pain in my tailbone that made it impossible for me to move for a week without enormous agony, loud and dramatic wails, and Vicodin. There is no ice in L.A. other than the ice that comes from my ice machine and I will admit that that doesn’t entirely suck.

13. In-and-Out urge
If you come to L.A. you MUST go to In-and-Out Burger at least once, unless you are a vegetarian. It is a California culinary institution and for sure the best hamburger one can get at a fast food restaurant in all the world (yes, I realize that is big talk). All they serve at In-and-Out are hamburgers, fries, shakes and sodas. that it is it. No chicken; no salad; no tofu patties— nothing but burgers. But, there is a secret menu for those in the know.

When we lived in Chicago I often had the In-and-out urge and had to sublimate my double-double desire with a Chicago dog. Whenever we would visit L.A. our first stop after landing at LAX would be the In-and-Out right by the airport. My order at In-and-Out is the Double-double with grilled onions and no fries. I hate their fries. They are bland and tasteless and not worth the calories. But, now that I know about their secret menu I might try the fries “animal style”.

14. I am free to look ridiculous
In L.A. I can wear the big sunglasses that make me look like a big bug without feeling completely over the top. In Chicago I always felt the need to apologize for anything that was close to the top, let alone over it.

15. Brushes with boughs of greatness
When I was little my parents took me to a Christmas party and the next door neighbors of the hosts happened to be Bob Newhart and family. I was invited over to help decorate Bob’s Christmas tree. I suppose the hosts were mortified that my parents hadn’t found a sitter and were delighted that the Newhart family took me in. Bob wasn’t there, but it was Bob’s tree and tinsel that I touched.

16. No GPS required
In I am never literally lost, metaphorically I am, but not literally. I know this town. When I lived in Chicago I was always afraid if I made one wrong turn I would end up in Indiana or Wisconsin. You drop me anywhere in L.A.( except Culver City, I always get lost in Culver City) and I can find my way home.

17. Easy freeway access to childhood trauma
I am never more than 30 minutes away from a location of a childhood trauma. If I need material for the book I can drive to a PTSD location from my past and be filled with inspiration for the book and/or material to take to Igor. No need to go to Google Earth to find the vortexes of my childhood wounding. Yes, I suppose, this kind of sucks.

18. Conducting chickens or free range Strauss
Esa-Pekka Salonen and Koo-Koo-Roo. I love a good alliteration and I love how the name of the charbroiled chicken chain and the conductor of the L.A. symphony’s names roll off of my tongue. I know that they have nothing in common but Pekka’s name makes me think of poultry and, who knows, maybe when Esa-Pekka isn’t conducting Tchaikovsky he enjoys a little Koo-Koo-Roo chicken. I certainly do and there is a Koo-Koo-Roo just a block away from the Disney Concert Hall so Esa-Pecka can have a two piece plate before he performs.

About Me

My name is Tracey, aka La Belette Rouge. I am a psychotherapist and the author of Freudian Sip @ Psychology Today. I blog about psychology, my therapy, dreams, writing, meaning making, home, longing, loss, infertility and other things that delight or inspire me. I try to make deep and elusive psychodynamic concepts accessible and funny. For more information, click here .

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