I have been going to Igor’s for a little over two years. Each time I walk from the parking garage to Igor’s office I pass a security officer who guards a chic and spendy Beverly Hills store. Each time I walk by him he greets me with a sincere ‘Have a nice day’. He doesn’t offer this warm greeting to everyone who walks by. He seem to save it for regulars and early on he decided that I was a regular.
“Have a nice day” is a difficult phrase to pull off. It can sound cliche, insincere and hackneyed. However each time this redwood tree of a security guard says it to me I believe him to mean it. He really wants me to have a nice day. And it never feels like “Have a nice day” is an entree to ” can I have your phone number?” Each Thursday I thank him for his well wish and wish the same for him.
For two years we have completed this ritual without nuance or variety. I can count on it. It is part of my “Thursday with Igor.”Last week, after my session with Igor, the security guard saw me. There was something about his gaze, his posture and the way that he locked eyes with me that told me we were about to enter new territory.
“Excuse me,” he interrupted.
“Uh-huh” I said in a state of disbelief.
” I see you all the time and I just wanted to ask you your name.”
I told him my name and he told me his in return. We shook hands. It was all much more Mayberry than Rodeo Drive, only it wasn’t. This bit of well-mannered charm was just steps away from the restaurant that one of the Real House Wives of Beverly Hills owns.
“It’s very nice to meet you.” He said sincerely.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I agreed. It really was.
“I just wondered, do you work around here?” he asked innocently and without motives.
“No” I said. “I don’t. I have a weekly appointment here.”
“Oh,” he answered as if I had just gave him the answer to a crossword puzzle clue that he had been pondering for a year or two.
“Well, have a nice day, ” he concluded.
“Have a nice day,” I repeated.
And then I walked away and I was overtaken by the simplicity and the sweetness of the moment. Yeah, I know I am a sappy-soft-smoooshelpuss, but it was so sweet and something about it really touched me. I have walked this street for over two years and someone noticed. Someone cared. Sure, yeah, I have had guys notice me when I walk to Igor’s, but that kind of noticing is not this kind. This kind made me feel something like belonging, like I am a part of this community and like someone would notice if I stopped coming for Thursdays with Igor. I still can get gushy and mushy when I think about it. This man didn’t want anything from me. There was no ulterior motive. He wasn’t hitting on me. He had noticed me. I was a landmark in his life as he is in mine and he took the initiative to speak to me. He just wanted to know my name, he, I think, thought I deserved more than to be a nameless stranger. He wanted to include my name in his weekly greeting. He wanted us to personalize our “good day” dialogue.
All the way home his name played in my head like a song that won’t leave you. I repeated it to myself, I think, because I didn’t want to forget it. Tomorrow when I go to Igor’s I will see my laconic acquaintance. We will say the same phrase that we always say to each other, only tomorrow there will be a name added to the end of our sentence. And I sort of can’t wait to say it.
This reminds me of the “sermon” given by the sensei at Buddhist temple service I attended. He said that we needed to “break the shell of I” and the way to do this was to recognize others. He instructed that the best way to recognize others is with a simple “Hello.” Your story is a perfect example of this and makes me contemplate who have I been failing to recognize in my own life. Thanks for the reminder
Small noticing can really make a difference. I am going to work to be more like this guy. He inspires me with his small kindness.
Thanks, lovely you, for sharing this post with your pals on FB.:-)
Fantastic.
It’s great to be seen as a person and not ignored, not a bodytype, a sex object or a sterotype. Not simply a girl, boy, woman or man but a human being, worthy of notice and more importantly of acknowledgement. A simple act of humanity that affirms life itself.
That such a simple act has an effect beyond its apparent insignificance is well made in your post here. It makes you think how much better a place to live in it would be if we did more of this and accepted more of this without making unnecessary defensive assumptions.
after all it’s only “Hello, I see you. See me.”
It is lovely, isn’t it? Just being seen for existing.
I tend to be a person who smiles at strangers and says good a.m. So often my greetings are met with suspicion, more so in L.A. than other places I have lived. It’s too bad because it is such a nice thing to acknowledge others existence and to be acknowledged in return.
This post, Belette my dear, reminds me all over again why I keep coming back to read your blog. Such a simple, but charming, story, so well told. I suppose your security guard would be taken aback if you said to him tomorrow, “Hello, Dave (or Tom or Bill or Whatever), Oh, and by the way, Materfamilias and a whole bunch of my blog-readers say hello as well”. . .
Thank you so much, Mater. I am so glad that whatever I do here has kept you around. I would truly miss you if you weren’t here. You always add so much to the conversation. And I so look forward to that day on your porch.
p.s. I will think of you and laugh to myself as I say hello to him. Your mind will definitely come to mind.
If you walk your dog around my local park in the morning you will often be greeted bya sunny “Good morning” It is infectious and even a grouch like me joins in, so much so that when leyla joined me one morning she asked if I knew the person. “No” “So why are you smiling?” How do you explain that sometimes the simple exchanges are the ones that make us the happiest. Just a few “Good Mornings” can set you up for the whole day.
I was so pleased to see you had indulged in an aysemetric top, don’t you just feel so cutting edge gallerina now?
People are so much nicer when they see a dog. DOn’t you think? I have certainly found that I receive a MUCH warmer greeting when Lily is with me. And, yeah, a “good morning” has a lot of power to it. It’s a shame that more people don’t know that.
And, yes, lol, I do feel very gallerina in my artsy top.
I appreciate you more and more with each new post. It goes beyond the words on the screen. I feel that your essence seems to jump off the page more and more for me. I have given up reading many blogs, however, I still look forward to yours. Have a great session with Igor:)
Thank you so much, Davida. The feeling is mutual. I feel like i know you and yet I have never had the pleasure of seeing you in person. It is truly extraordinary how emotionally connected one can feel to someone just through the written word. Isn’t it? I am so glad we found each other. And I am so glad that you are still here.
Thanks, lovely you!
Aww, that makes me smile. It’s always so nice when someone reaches out like that.
Isn’t it? It was such a sweet moment.
p.s. Happy pre-birthday!xo
That is so cool, Weasel Friend! It IS nice to be noticed that way, and it doesn’t surprise me at all. You’re a nice, pretty, snappy gal, and noticeable indeed. I’m smiling away from reading about your Nice Day.
Something similar happened to me recently on my mail route. Within a couple of days of each other, a man told me “we always get delivery with a smile, with you” and a woman told me “you’re always so pleasant.” That made me feel good! It is nice to know people do notice us.
PS–it’s also nice to be able to formulate a thought this morning! Thank Goddess for days off.
How nice. I love that those on your route are able to appreciate your lovely essence. I bet they would be amazed to know that you are a BRILLIANT poet. I know I wouldn’t assume that my mail person was a writing genius.
Happy to hear, Tiger-friend, that you are feeling rested and recovered.
Little things mean a lot!
Truly!
There was a bus driver I had (actually, there have been several) that I think of as a friend. I liked to greet them with, “Hello, friend!” I switched jobs and hadn’t been on my old route in a while, and then took it one day about a year later–it was the same driver, who greeted me with, “Hey, it’s my buddy! Where’ve you been?” It was so touching to me.
I know just how you feel
.
I love it when someone calls me buddy or pal. And it is so very nice to be missed. I miss you, buddy.
This is wonderful, it is precisely the way I would have reacted, it is the oddest thing, and it comes out of nowhere, just like this incident.
Fabulous post Miss LBR!
tp
Thanks so much, beautiful Princess. I hope you too have a beautiful day.
Warm and lovely…it is nice when someone shows innocent caring interest, so true! xoxo
Innocent caring. That is a perfect way to describe it. xoxo
This is something of a phenomenon that I have noticed as I have aged. When I was young it was never difficult to get noticed and most times it was something I didn’t desire, however since I have aged it is astounding how invisible I have become. Not only with men, but women as well. People that I see me over and over again ie the grocery store, don’t notice. I don’t get it. Everyone needs to be “seen”. How sweet of him to “see” you and put away his own fear and ego to approach you with nothing more than innocent curiosity. Gosh I always thought it was the midwest that was known for friendliness maybe it’s really California!
Unwanted attention doesn’t feel good. You can always feel when attention has a subtext. It is rare to feel noticed by strangers and not have that feeling. It is so nice when it does. Maybe our job is to see others. Maybe when we aren’t feeling seen we can notice others. I am going to try it and see what happens.
I see you and I hope you have a great day!
I love this. That it happened, that it touched you, and that you shared it.
Thanks, sweet Sally.
Very sweet…and humanized….connectiing and sharing are what makes us richer in our daily round.
Thanks, Hostess. It does make life richer.
It’s lovely. Although I know I am one to guard myself from these kinds of things. Do you feel, in any way, that knowing his name is now a burden? That now you are going to have to talk to him more and then close off the discussion when it gets too long?
You know there is that fear in me. I don’t want it to expand. I don’t want to have to chat. I don’t want him to make me late for Igor. I hope that we don’t add more words than our names. I feel a bit bad to admit that.
O, this is so beautifully-written. I mean what happened between you and the security officer was a special occurrence, but your vignette about it is absolutely beautifully-written. Did I mention that this beautiful thing that happened in your life was beautifully-written?
I love you, Lydia. Thank you so much. I so appreciate your kind and undeserved words about the writing. It made my day.:-)
Wow, you really are a big sap, ain’t ya.
Big tree. Big sap.;-)
As weekly church goer (I know, I’m a relic) I enjoy and appreciate this kind of weekly greeting ritual very much. It’s part of what keeps me coming back, the smiles and good mornings. I love it.
Thank you for sharing this lovely story. Like you, I hope it stays at the greeting level, otherwise the spell will be broken.
It is a nice ritual. I always liked it back in the days when I used to go.
Yeah, if it goes past greeting then I might have to change how I walk to Igor’s. That wouldn’t be convenient.
That you are a “sappy-soft-smoooshelpuss” is exactly why we all (myself included) keep coming back. You are one very special woman and I am sure this well-mannered guard picked that up. I bet he just had to know who this “wonderful lady” was.
Such a simple yet soul-filling moment.
So glad it happened!
Hugs
Thank you, Jenn. Not everyone finds sappy-soft-smooshlepusses to be delightful. I am so glad that you do.
It was such a heartwarming moment. It really got to me. So simple and so sweet.
Hugs, lovely Jenn!
One of the more subtle changes of giving up one place in the world for another is having to build new relationships of recognition and continuity. This is an easier place than some for that since once the tourists left and the cold weather set in the greetings at the shops got warmer.
I know the feeling of being unearthed from recognition. When we moved back here I actively tried to avoid connecting as a way of protecting myself from getting attached to the place. It didn’t work.;-) I hope your continuity and connection get warmer each day.
What a nice post… makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside too!
That is just absolutely lovely. It really is the small things in life that can make the biggest difference, isn’t it? Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
You are so right, the small things mean so very much. Thank you for your lovely comment.
p.s. I miss you on your blog.
Whenever I encounter a random act of selfless kindness from a stranger, my faith in the human race is renewed.
Thank you for sharing this story, it made me smile and a bit misty around the eyes too.
Thanks, dear Coffeeaddict. I am so glad that the feeling of this experience was relayed. I didn’t know if I had been able to get at the heart of the feeling. It seems I did.
Tender observant heart!
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
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Thanks, Cloudia. It takes one to know one.:-)
i adore this post…blessings, my sweet xoxo
This is such a sweet story, Tracey. It’s lovely to be noticed. But, just so you know you are unforgettable. Hugs and love to you!
I loved this post… I’m always one to smile at others and going “have a good day”…
Of course most people in a city like this one look at me as if I were crazy… That won’t stop me though… Anything to make me and the rest feel human I guess…
Lots of love to you, my dear Tracey!
Lovely.
dear ‘sappy-soft-smoooshelpuss’ hee hee… oh i just love this idea… you have a kindred spirit in me, as you know. i too miss the days of us simply noticing one another in a kind and sweet way. it’s so good for the heart.
this familiar stranger who seems to be becoming an aquaintance or friend, sees in you a way of being that is memorable and lovely, as you do him. such a nice compliment between the two of you…
I love this. It reminds me of how tickled I was the other day at a baseball game by one of the dads who called every player “kid.” It’s efficient and has a nice ring to it.
How nice that you can use his name next time! I love this kind of sincerity.