1. Dorothea was 100% right on. I took her dream interpretation with me to Igor’s as I knew she was right. He isn’t usually interested what any of my friends think about my dreams but when he heard Dorothea had made an interpretation he clamored to hear it. The truth is that I think Igor is a bit smitten with Dorothea(ever since he heard her first dream interpretation he has had a bit of a soft spot for her).
This is what genius Dorothea said about the dream I wrote about on Monday:
This may be my own tunnel vision here, but I think this is related to the feelings you’ve expressed in the previous posts. To pull in another character from Greek mythology, perhaps you are feeling like Icarus — you are scared that you are flying too close to the sun. You’ve exposed your true (and lovely!) face by giving up your anonymity. You’re feeling good about living in (sunny) Pasadena. You can read these as assertions of your ego: “Hey, look at me, I’m writing this cool stuff that I want the world to see!” (for which the world is better off)! “And I’m going to claim Pasadena as mine, too!” And this makes you vulnerable.
You’ve also been blogging with great honesty and openness — again, exposure, bringing things out into the light — and that makes you vulnerable, too. I suspect part of your psyche is screaming, “Yikes! Go back inside where it is safe, dark, and no one can see you!” I hope you won’t do that, but I think that’s one of the conflicts generating this dream.
I hate to toot my own horn but I have to say that I have the SMARTEST readers. I feel so lucky. I love you, Dorothea—and should Igor ever retire I know exactly where I am going for therapy( do you have an opening on Thursdays at noon?). I do feel a bit ashamed that I didn’t figure out this dream on my own( it can be so hard to see our own dreams. It can be like finding the elusive mustard jar that is hiding in front of you in plain sight. Please, tell me I am not the only one who does this!) As soon as I read it I knew it was true and it felt exactly right. I have been putting my face out there and I did get burnt and it did make me want to withdraw. And I certainly have been afraid of what might happen now that I am starting to accept my place in the sun. Icarus at one end and Persephone at the other. I feel much more at home with Persephone, less of a fall than hanging with Icarus.
2.Today is a day that I have been waiting for since last March. Your friend is coming to visit me and I feel all kinds of excited. I have for weeks been counting off the days and hours until her arrival. I have that feeling I had when I was a kid and it was Christmas eve. Your friend is the kind of friend I can talk to about philosophy, psychology, France, skincare, Hillman and all of our other shared interests, mundane and sublime. We, when together, laugh and smile so much that our faces hurt from their constant smiling. We stay up so late talking that our visits have a endless slumber party kind of feel. We share a secret language that only the best of friends can and our times together, no matter what we do, are always hallmarked by depth, insight, laughter and a moment in which she makes me laugh so hard that I almost pee my pants. I will likely be scarce on the blogosphere while she is here.
3. I love what I do. I wish I could say more. I know I am being redundant but I just have to say it again, I love-love-love what I do and I feel so lucky to do it. At the end of the days when I see patients He-weasel always asks me how my day went. I always tell him, “I love my job and I love the people I work with” and then my voice trails off into silence and I think about all that is my profound privilge to witness.
4. Westie-wonderful. Lily went for her bath yesterday and she came home looking like a model for Valentine’s Day card. 
5. On Sunday I am going to a lecture given by a 101 year old Psychoanalyst named Hedda Bolgar (click on over to see her speak. She is an inspiration. If you are interested, here is an article on Hedda). Not sure you know this but I am mad-crazy-in-love with older people who love what they do. Actually, I like most older people. I worked, many years ago, as an activity director at a Japanese retirement hotel. It was such a wonderful experience and a lesson in existential awareness that was better than any philosophy course I ever took. I am prepared to go and fall in love with this woman. You will likely hear more about Hedda from me post-event.
6. Recently I saw an extreme example of detached parenting and something about witnessing this atrocity made me feel extremely grateful for my mother. I love her, I do. Happy Birthday, Mom. I’m glad you were born( Mom’s birthday was yesterday).
Job satisfaction can really change ones perspective on life and I get this feeling from your blog lately, the ability to unravel the lives of others and help them move on must be brilliant, better still if they pay! I like to see art as a low level therapy, a place where students can explore the other side of their brain without too much judgment, a visual subject is never easy to teach of do but the rewards can be enormous. Like you I sometimes pinch myself that after 17 years at a brutal chalk face I have landed up with an amazing team who make it possible to sit read and write comments al day!!
Lily is a lucky lady, my dog is lucky if I wipe him down with a baby wipe once in a blue moon!
101? What a privilege to be leading such a vital passionate life at such an advanced age.
Wow! Something sure gave you an interesting look at parenting!
Oh man, I feel dumb now cos i didn’t see any of that, but yet it is so obviously right.
Lily is soooooooooo cute! (and so obviously well loved!)
I’ve been reading here for, what? almost three years? (through the Texas thing anyway) and I can’t remember you ever having the opportunity to see your mother in a positive light. (certainly, you may have done so, but just not blogged it) Seems monumental that you’re now in a place that gives you that perspective.
The dream interpretation is clever…and makes sense to a lay person like moi.
You sound very happy today…. This is great stuff!
Optimism is a wonderful thing…
I believe that gratitude and contentment are vital players…as it your sweet Lily!
Wow, that must have been something major that brought your relationship with your mother into such a positive light. I realize that this has been building, but this seems very new to me.
Oui is such a good word. You need optimistic days and moments and yes, indeed, life. I am so happy for you.
Oui, vous pouvez!
I am so glad you love your work.
My draw dropped when I read the bit about your mother, you’ll have to tell more!
I listened to some of that video — I wish I could go with you to see Hedda.
Well, enjoy your time with your lovely friend, and hugs for Lily. xoxo
oh, happy birthday to your mom…Lily is to die for, I know you know. Enjoy your visit with your friend. xoxo
You will be missed while you are spending time with your friend. Hope you have a wonderful time together. See you when you get back. Xo
I am so happy for you that you are spending time with your friend. Those relationships are so nurturing and loving and FUN! The perfect combination. I hope you have a WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL time. We look forward to your posts after her visit. Have a great weekend!
Have a great time with your friend! And I want to hear more about the time when you worked at the Japanese retirement hotel. Was it vaguely Love Boat-like?
Glad you love your job, that’s always important. I like that you’re grateful for your own mother when you see “detached parenting”. I should follow your example, instead of feeling jaded and jealous and thinking how life is unfair.
I’m so glad you posted the link to the interview with Hedda Bolgar. Here I am at age 64 trying to reinvent myself as an artist but mostly as a new person for a new time in my life. I’ll never be able to say my parents consulted with their old friend Carl Jung while I was in the womb, nor that I left Vienna the same day Hitler arrived but each life is unique and valuable.
I’m glad your mother was born too because without her there’d be no wonderful you. Happy Un-birthday to you both.
This post just made me so happy:)
I have so much catching up to do! The other day I needed some inspiration on an emotional issue and I asked myself what you might say in regard to the situation. I asked the other person involved if she’d been having dreams. The conversation took off from there. While I can’t interpret dreams, just giving her the opportunity to talk about them helped, she later told me. She made her own interpretations.
Have fun with Your Friend!
Your post makes me feel like everything happens for a reason and the journey I take will end in happiness and content
So happy to read ur updates and happiness! and as always Lily is adorable 
Sure you won’t be AWOL due to Super Bowl preparation?
Ooh la la… J’adore the photos of Lily!
It is wonderful to “see” you so happy and open to so many good things.
dorothea does indeed, make perfect sense and brilliantly too….i would never have thought of icarus but of course!!! i am so glad you are feeling happiness over your life now…that your words, your writing has a lilting quality to it, as if you are singing your life….love it. xoxo
I want Dorothy as my friend too .. she is so wise..
Lily looks amazing I love your little girl xx
Lily looks amazing in red — I think it’s her color! Enjoyed the post, Tracey.
Hedda sounds wonderful. I’ve also been drawn to the wisdom of older generations throughout my life, my grandmother, for starters. There is something quite peaceful and joyful about so many people as they age. My grandmother, Anna, had a xmas eve birthday; so do I. She lived to 99.9 (dying 2 days shy of 100) and was one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known. Just a pioneer spirit happy to be alive.
And I’m so glad you love your work. I had an artist in SunnyRoomStudio (Paul Jackson) last week (the “Beyond Conventional Wisdom” post), and he also talked about loving his work. What a major gift for anyone; to toil for love, as opposed to strictly material gains.
Warm sunny wishes to you — have a lovely weekend!
I have been thinking about on of your former postings, the one on time, what time you live in. I was not aware, that I am 120% “future”. I am the “what if”-lady: what if it rains, what if I get hungry, what if I get a migraine, what if I get blisters. Some say its the virgo in my horoscope. Whatever it is, I am happy to be able to analyze it in the first step.
You know, dreaming sometimes exhausts me. Maybe you also know how much I love my hair. Well, I have been dreaming about appointments at the hairsalon, both went bad (in the first one I argued with the receptionist, in the second I sat there and waited for hours). I wish I had an Igor around! And it would be so nice meeting you, working with you since I can not imagine anyone better to work with but someone who enjoys her work, not only enjoys but loves it
In younger years I wrote down every dream in a beautiful book with white linen cover. I laughed and said “if I ever start with psychoanalysis, it will be a big treat, having the book”. I know many say dreams are just bits and pieces from the last day(s), but still: the way you write the story of your dream is more than just “the rest of a day”.
Have a wonderful weekend with your friend!
PS: I just noticed, this comments would fit better to the Ikarus posting and not this one.
There are so many good things going on for you right now I would think you must be about to burst! Enjoy them all. I mean LET yourself enjoy them all.
Regularly, it’s a feat to find my mustard jar.
Beautiful puppy pics, Westies are such a lovely breed.
Happy bday to your mum!
PS: How was the lecture today? And detached parenting? Uggg. Not my cup of tea, either.
It is always wonderful to read something, step back and go, “That makes perfect sense,” as with Dorothea’s comments and your willingness to embrace them. And to see that you are off enjoying yourself is even better, I just know you are having a great time, and that is the best feeling. Hugs at you, and your precious little Lily love too!
tp
a dear happy birthday to your mom! your words are such a lovely expression of your love…
reading your post here is very much like opening one of the best Christmas gifts. it is so full of goodies! hearing you talk about how much you love your work is a pleasure to read.
we have been on the same page about a few things, just this morning i was enjoying a program that i like to watch, a woman older than me and simply enjoying watching her enjoy what she does. this somehow waters my own garden. not sure what that’s about, but it feels good.
i too love older people… their wisdom and deep sense of just knowing and experience, moves me. they can be cute and fun too.
enjoy your sweet time with your friend. it simply sounds like having desert the whole day long… the sweetest. have fun!
I’m just coming back to reading blogs, and I’m glad to hear so much good stuff is happening for you.
Oui… Yes… Si…
I work a lot on that word with my students… Once it rings true… Your life changes, huh??
I love it that you love what you do… Life without passion would merely be a mirage…
I hope you had the best time with “Your friend”!!
Oodles of love!! XXX
Your analyst is smitten with Dorothea? With someone you have introduced to him? Wow, I wonder how that feels for you? Can I ask how long you have been with your analyst?
Hi, UnmotheredChild! Lovely to see you here. No, he isn’t smitten in the sense I think you think. He hasn’t ever *met* her. He just appreciates her mind( as do I). I have shared some of her amazing interpretations with him and now when I bring her up I can tell that he really respects her ideas. I have been with him 2 1/2 years. Time flies when your having fun.
Hello beautiful,
I have a lot of catching up to do but of course I had to comment on Lily who looks so winsome and adorable in those photographs. You’re fortunate to have such a great friend who can relate to you on such a kindred spirit Anne of Green Gables level. And I like older people too. xx