At least I dreamt that I was. In the dream I had been out in the sun and I didn’t have sunblock on. I had remembered that I had been using skincare products that made me especially susceptible to the sun’s harmful rays. In the dream I panicked. “My face”. I somehow saw my face( in a mirror?) and it wasn’t just red it was a purplish burnt looking red. It felt permanent and that I would be damaged by this exposure. That was it, that was the entire dream. When I woke up it had felt like a nightmare. So what does this little dream mean?
Let’s start with where the dream begins: I was out in the sun. What does it mean to be out in the sun? For me, as an introvert with Irish skin, it means that I am in two places that feel a little uncomfortable in( out and in the sun) and in a place that I need to be protected from—I am vulnerable when I am out in the sun. The sun is out in the day time, when all the action happens. Hence the sun is more of an ego state( masculine) while the moon is symbolic of the unconscious( or the feminine. or the receptive). To get too much sun is to have too much ego state. Sun is light, warmth, and generative but it can also be burning, destructive and killing. The sun is the centre of our solar system. It is symbolic of enlightenment. Carl Jung theorized that the sun was an archetype of the human concept of the Self.”
My boyfriend, James Hillman, would look at this dream causally. He would say, ” When you are in the sun you become aware of your vulnerability. When you become aware of your vulnerability you look to your past to see why you should be vulnerable. When you remember why you should be vulnerable then you see your damage. When you see your damage you decide it is permanent.” Ooh, I had some light bulbs go off with this one.
The awareness of vulnerability because of things I had done to my face( trying to change it, make ie younger/firmer.etc)is especially interesting. What about trying to change my face makes me more vulnerable? Vulnerable to what? The masculine? The ego? To extroverted energies? When I try to change my face and look younger/better/prettier is it for the eye of the other or for myself that I make this change? Or, perhaps, is it the way that I feel myself in the eye of the other that is the real motivator for this change. The most disturbing part of the dream came in seeing myself. I was shocked at this bright red burn and was terrified of the long term implications of this unconsciousness( it felt like not putting on the sunblock was unconscious. or, was it rather a kind of masochism?). So waht are the ramifications of “being in the sun( the ego)” and how has my need to be perceived as attractive/young/firm put me at some kind of risk? What do I see in my self reflection that terrifies me? Hmmm…
Also interesting is that I recently dreamt of meeting my father’s son( son/sun, dreams love to use homonyms). I met him, in another dream, in Lake Forest. In the dream he lived in Illinois and I was surprised to learn this. When I shared my associations to this dream with Igor my imagining of how my father’s son might see me led to the following associations: “I imagine he doesn’t have any idea who I am. He doesn’t even know that I finished college or that I went on to grad school. He doesn’t know that I have depth. He doesn’t know that I am smart. ” So, is this dream saying that I am feeling burnt( and permanently marked) by this kind of perception? Has this kind of identification with surfaces burned me and made me feel fixed and unchanging in this identity?
To take the Sun dream image literally, to be red-faced is to be flushed with embarrassment or anger. I don’t identify with this meaning. I don’t feel embarrassed, ashamed or angry. It just doesn’t resonate. I do have a politically incorrect association “Red-faced”( which is a highly unfortunate slur that was used against Native American peoples) that came to mind as I thought about this dream. One Christmas, I think when I was about eight-years-old, I was in Hawaii. Everyone I met, during our trip to the Aloha state, I made a point of telling them that I was an “Indian”. I think I had just learned about my great-grandmother who was a full-blooded Osage Indian. I was very proud of this ancestry and so I shared it with every maid, taxi driver and hula instructor that I met in Waikiki. People reacted sympathetically when I informed them of my impressive ancestry. A few people pointed out that I didn’t look like an Osage Indian, that I in fact looked like a “Pale-face”. Not sure how that relates to the dream…but it is an association that came to mind and so I thought I would share it.
When I was telling Igor about a recent dream( which I won’t go into details of in this post), Igor made an interesting association. Igor said that something about that dream made him think of the Twilight series. At first I balked at his idea and then associations of my own started. “In Twilight the main character leaves the domain of the feminine( her mother) and the sun and goes into darkness( to be with her Father and boyfriend) in Washington. One of my many complaints about sunny Southern California is that it is ENDLESSLY sunny. There is too much sun here. And I, personally, find this kind of endless sun to be oppressive. It creates, I believe, a kind of manic requirement. One feels a pressure to be outside because “it is such a beautiful day”. When one lives in more cyclical climates one has weeks/months in which the weather is so bad/dark and dreary that no one expects them to be outside. I miss that about Chicago.
My other association, that I jokingly shared with Igor, about the “Twilight dream” was that I wish I lived in the darkness of Twilight as then I would always be young and have that radiantly glowing skin without any effort, which relates to another of my SoCal complaints and that is the unrealistic expectations about beauty that one has when one lives here. I know that I was much less critical of my face/body/appearance when I lived in Chicago. Living in L.A. can make one compare oneself to impossible standards of beauty. It can make one crave eternal/ageless and decayless beauty that is only available to goddesses like Persephone, Aphrodite and/or adolescent vampires.
I think this dream, the sun/sun-burnt dream, may be touching on this sun/darkness theme that I discovered in the last dream. I don’t know what it all means yet but something feels like it is moving towards the surface.
Maybe it’s the time of night and my brain not functioning proper… But all I could think of while reading this post was.. Sunblock… Sunblock… Sunblock… (Bettle juice style…)
Oh my… I better have some warm milk or something…
lots of love!! XXX
SPF 90!!!!!!
Hope you had sweet dreams.xoxo
*comes rowing up in a gondola, wearing a white half mask and a plumed hat*
I’m not much for the garish light of day, either, Missy.
But you have a sunflower on your avatar. Hmm…;-)
They are a humble flower but not shy, and beautiful in their own way.
I’m a little bit photosensitive. Too much light gives me a headache and hurts my eyes. I buy the dimmest light bulbs i can find. True.
Great post. Red-faced–a symbol of embarrassment, rage, and others. Very interesting dream and how you put the sun and moon into perspective, I just learned something new. But I could use a little more sun (ego).
Good luck with this interpretation.
Happy to be informative! Sun( ego) is a good thing. I could use a little more too—in moderation.;-)
I really understand the too-much sunness of California. I felt it the year I lived in Phoenix. I became desperate for cloudy days and the 2 times it rained, I celebrated. My introverted self feels much better here in the land of short winter days, snow, rain and sun all in a nice mix that gives me enough time inside — inside my house and myself.
I always am so happy for rainy days. This introvert loves days that match my inner life.:-)
Very interesting analogy between the weather and mood cycles. Never thought of it that way, but yes, as much as I love a sunny day, I also crave a rainy day.
Balance is a good thing!
Well you have certainly been more visible recently – and one can only blush when visible. Skin is such a rich metaphor:). I love the way you go through your dreams here. Brings so much up inside me as I read.
I do think my visibility hasn’t been all rosy–mostly good but there has been a bit of burn. I am, however, pretty much recovered from the negative exposure.
Skin is indeed rich. Materfamilias is writing on the skin-ego. She has me thinking too.
When I lived in the Pacific Northwest, I craved the sun. Living in Austin, I sometimes long for a rainy day – and yes, you are right, when you live somewhere very sunny you do feel like you always have to be “enjoying it”, which is silly, seeing as how it will be nice tomorrow.
I really appreciate your dream dissections. I recently started seeing a Jungian therapist, and I’m looking forward to doing some dream analysis with her. Your dream posts always help me to look deeper into my own dreams
The Austin sun is fierce. It definitely made me miss Seattle.
I talked to a few Jungians about working with them and went to the Jungian events at the center in Austin. I am so happy if my dream work helps you with your dreams.
So, so, so interesting.
I totally relate to disliking constant sun. I loved Vancouver, where it was perma-twilight.
Now. You know what else is funny. You mentioned Persephone and vampires in the same sentence. I know that Persephone is a very loaded figure for you (I have those go-to words, too, that mean more than other words), so it’s funny that this is somehow connected to vampires (but it is–retreats, light and dark, villains/monsters).
Ok, I can’t play Igor that well. But you can’t blame me for trying…
I had never put Persephone and Vampires together before. But now that I have it seems natural. Doesn’t it?
You have some serious Igor skills, what you talking about??;-)
I am amazed that you remember your dreams so vividly…I do not…I rarely dream.
I crave that ageless decayless beauty…let me know what you find out about achieving it…maybe the next dream will reveal more.
You can train yourself to remember your dreams, if you want to. It is just developing a muscle.
Yeah, if I find the secret to ageless and decayless beauty I will share my secret with the world in my best selling book that will cost $10,000 a copy.;-)
I strongly relate to your dislike of too much sun. I dream of living someplace cooler and darker. I imagine Oslo being ideal in this respect.
Your dream analysis is fascinating. I am going to be thinking about these ideas now on my hike.
I lived in Sweden. Even I craved the sun when I was there. That said, Oslo is beautiful.
This may be my own tunnel vision here, but I think this is related to the feelings you’ve expressed in the previous posts. To pull in another character from Greek mythology, perhaps you are feeling like Icarus — you are scared that you are flying too close to the sun. You’ve exposed your true (and lovely!) face by giving up your anonymity. You’re feeling good about living in (sunny) Pasadena. You can read these as assertions of your ego: “Hey, look at me, I’m writing this cool stuff that I want the world to see!” (for which the world is better off)! “And I’m going to claim Pasadena as mine, too!” And this makes you vulnerable.
You’ve also been blogging with great honesty and openness — again, exposure, bringing things out into the light — and that makes you vulnerable, too. I suspect part of your psyche is screaming, “Yikes! Go back inside where it is safe, dark, and no one can see you!” I hope you won’t do that, but I think that’s one of the conflicts generating this dream.
I wish I could send you a gallon or 10 of psychological sunblock so you can feel safe in the bright lights you’re in. (For the real world, I’m really liking Coola 30 mineral matte sunblock — good as a makeup primer, too.)
You, my friend, are genius. You just earned your Honorary Therapist merit badge. Tomorrows post will feature your BRILLIANCE. I must warn you, I think Igor is crushing on you.
Thank you so much for sharing your brilliant interpretation. And if you run across any psychological sunblock please send it to me. I need it. And thanks for the tip on Coola. Is it drying? I am afraid of mineral.
I’m just a rank amateur, but in reading your post I was thinking along the lines of Dorothea’s comment. Your writing recently became much more visible, and you gave up your anonymity at the same time. And I know what you mean about feeling pressure to be out in the beautiful weather (especially if you once lived in a northern state and had a parent who kept urging you to get outside while it’s nice).
I totally agree with you and Dorothea. She is right on. And giving up my anonymity has not all been great. Mostly it has, but when it wasn’t I did want to go and hide.
My mom was big on “it’s a beautiful day….” I tend to shut curtains on a beautiful day. She finds my aversion to beautiful days to be confusing.
hmmmm, there is much meat to chew on here however, being a veggie, i get a pass…there is so much here that you have mentioned, i could write YOU a post back about my impressions of the meaning of sun/son/masculine and the opposite, red and it’s many meanings and more…
thank you for being so open about your dreaming life…i think it is an eye-opener to those who have not had any therapy that there is much ‘meat’ to our dreams, that they can even be linked to life itself! what a thought.. xo
I would love to hear you an impression. I feel sure you have lots of interesting ideas.
Our dreams are so rich and full of meat—we just need to take a bite and see where it leads us.
xo
Interesting how you relate sun + sameness + skin + preserving youth = feeling vulnerable. I remember Cher once saying there was nothing good about growing older. And seeing how amazing she still looks I sometimes wonder if I will go that route. Or will I be more like Annette Bening? And no matter where you live I think women are pressured to compare themselves to the cover model ideal. I think it’s an ordeal every western woman now has to go through and every woman experiences it in her own unique way. It’s brave of you to share your process so openly.
Cher looks amazing. What does she have to complain about??? I do like the way Annette looks. Aging gracefully can be done. Just not sure I can manage it.
I agree it is a pervasive problem. But there is something especially surreal about L.A.’s standards of beauty. I never felt that when in Chicago.
Sigh. You’re so good with dreams.
Sigh. You are so sweet.
Finally, I can read you. Good evening LBR, this is a strange dream, you are making good associations but I cannot really tell. I agree with you about So Cal and the weather that makes us want to be out, I felt that very intensely when I moved from DC. I could not stay indoors to read, I always had to go out, and the emphasis on appearances, o my god, it could not be worse any where else. I don’t know what to think. I had one of those exam dreams last night and took me all day to get over the headache. For now, make sure you wear sunblock! Ollie can come and rub it on you! xoxoxo
Thank you, I know you get it. LA is super-duper looks focused. NY, London and Paris are not anywhere close as looks obsessed as LA.
Sorry about your exam dream. I feel sure you passed.
Yes, please send Ollie over. He can make anything better.xoxo
I tend to ignore my dreams. Seeing how many things you can read in yours makes me wonder if I should pay more attention to them.
Yes! Pay attention to them!:-)
P.S. Thank you for your kind words you left on my blog. I appreciate and treasure them.
You are most welcome, my sweet friend. Time for the baggage to hit the curb.;-)
Brilliant insights about this dream! I so love the dark/light in dreams. I think all of your insights are so keen and this is something you’ve so kindly taught me about dreams… that all these associations are true. The dream can be speaking to various aspects of the psyche (and yet all connected). I look forward to discussing this more in person, soon!
I feel kind of overwhelmed by all the associations that came out of this dream. I feel like I can’t get them to stop coming. I wonder if that was a defense against actually knowing the dream. Or maybe I just have so many levels that I can’t manage them all.
Can’t wait to talk to you in person about anything!xoxo
Hmm, it seems you have been out in the sun in many ways of late and you have been burnt as well. I love how you analyze your dreams for us and lead us to think of our own associations and issues, taking the personal and finding the universal.
I myself, am not fond of endless sunshine either. I burn. I get headaches. It sounds oppressive. Fog and shadow are more my speed.
I am so happy if my dream work inspires others to explore their own dreams. That would be the best.
We all need to head over to Materfamilias’ place. Fog and shadow! Love it!!
I’ve always lived in climate zones where the sun is a welcome visitor – warming very cold days, lighting the landscape after long rain, summer days of pleasant heat and long light, never mind the magical times of seeing it rise and set. I often see the sun appear when I’m right at the edge of sleep and for me it’s an omen of good things.
Your interpretation goes to show just how well versed you are in the imagery and symbolism of dreams. Maybe I can get so far into my own fears of darkness that generating intense light in my mind is a relief.
Sun as a good thing. Hmmm..;-)
I have had darkness that would seemingly have turned me into a sun hunter. Not sure why it hasn’t. Must think about this. You always get me thinking.
You’ve a deep fear of usurping John Boehner? (hey, someone’s gotta provide the daily allowance of unhelpful commentary)
Who’s John Boehner? Must Google.
Oh, yeah, you should have told me you were talking about our crying Speaker of the House.
Dreams.. they are so inspiring and haunting equally. Last night I dreamt that i was modelling the biggest diamond necklace you have ever seen..when they had finished the shoot the weight of it had taken all my breath..I was dying of either an asthma attack or a heart attack i wasn’t sure… and they kept saying i”If you want to succeed in this business ..don’t make a fuss” and I knew I was dying and asking for an ambulance..arggg scary..nice diamond though I think it has put me off for life xx
Ooh. Scary dream. I would love to know your associations. I hope you recover from your fear of diamonds. xo
you’ve got me paying more attention to my dreams. i see how fascinating the dream world is when i read your posts… thanks for that!
i too have been thinking about skin and beauty and the youth associated with it. i see it is a steep hill i must climb as i’m thinking to teach myself to love myself in a society that worships and rewards youth and beauty.
i confess i haven’t answers. your dream analysis reminds me of how kind our spirits are to prompt us to think of these things so that we can be well…
tough… but lovely.
great great post!
Once you teach yourself to love yourself to love yourself, the world could use your lessons. I know that I could.
Thanks, sweet Audrey!
I would trade this dream any day for the one I have all the time: that I’m using the restroom in a restaurant and suddenly all the walls fall down and the diners can see me, you know, sitting there.
Don’t tell me what it means!!! I haven’t had enough coffee yet to handle it…
Maybe you’re burnt out on L.A. To a crisp. (P.S., Hillman in “Dream and Underworld” says the dream is digesting you, slowwwwwly, image by image. This dream may just be another eidolon at the funny farm that’s upside-down your life. May. Beyond providing great images & tales, dreams are, IMO, always ultimately unknowable)