No, no, Silly-Rabbit—not in a “She’s a 10″ kind of way. Not in a Bo Derek/Dudley Moore/Bolero kind of running on the beach in a bikini with my hair braided in corn-row way. However, I imagine if I was going to assign myself a number in that numerical way (which in truth I am totally against) I would give myself a four to five on an average day( I am a harsh and merciless judge of myself and a very generous judge of others—Igor and I are working on this). However if I had the help of a team of gifted and talented beauty professionals, I could weasel my way up to a strong seven. If you add in energy, enthusiasm and extra-credit I would get extra points for personality and wit, not that those who are inclined to hand out “tens” give credit for such character qualities. But what I am talking about today is the size of my tushy. My tushy is, as of yesterday, a size 10.
When I started Weight Watchers lo the many weeks ago ( seven to be exact) I was having some trouble squeezing into a size twelve skirt. I was having to wear Donna Karan’s serious control-top tights with Spanx on top (sexy, no?) and even then the twelve was feeling a bit snug and uncomfortable( this is my code way of saying I was truly a fourteen). Yesterday Elizabeth and I did a lovely day of lunch and shopping( lunch was sushi and shopping involved J.Crew and falling in love with a Prada bag that you will soon hear more about). While at J.Crew I saw a pencil skirt that caught my eye. This kind of pencil I wouldn’t have even considered seven weeks ago. I pulled both a twelve and a ten, just in case, and I boldly tried on the ten first and miracle of miracles, wonders of wonders, it fit. I did the “I’m naked and I’m skinny dance” in the J.Crew dressing room even though I had on the adorable and tiny skirt( yes, I know that 00 is tiny. To many a ten is considered a “large size” But to me a ten is tiny) and I was in a less adorably cute postage stamp of a dressing room. The “I’m naked and I’m skinny dance” is a good dance for any “I’m skinny” occasion. I hustled out of the dressing room and lamabadaed my way to the cash register and tangoed out my credit card and waltzed out the door( do you think I have hit the dancing theme hard enough?). This is the first size ten I have purchased since pre-infertility treatment which feels like a life time ago and this was a BIG moment for me.
As of yesterday I have lost 22 pounds. When I started this WW adventure my goal was to lose 30 lbs. Eight more pounds and I am there. Three more pounds and I am no longer considered overweight. Now that I am a ten I feel like maybe my goal now is to wear an eight. For my frame and height I don’t think any smaller than that would be a good thing. I am not sure how much more weight it will take for me to be an eight. And truly I don’t care a fig or a fig-newton how long it takes me to get there. I am happy where I am and each step towards where I want to be is a step that I will enjoy taking. Yikes, who am I? How did I become this?
I thought that as I have just completed the numerical milestone that it might be a good time to take a personal inventory. I have learned the following:
* I can enjoy coffee without sugar (Truvia doesn’t totally suck). I can and do need half and half in my coffee. On this point I will make no concessions. It is possible to lose weight and have half and half in your coffee.
* Weight Watchers is brilliant. I love it. I have used the online version and I have never gone to an in-person meeting. I have learned, just through tracking my food and using their point system that I have choices and it has taught me a lot about budgeting and making food choices that work for me. This is not a diet. This is me learning that ten cookies are not a light lunch that means I am free to have a carb-heavy dinner with two cocktails and a desert.
*When I first started this program I was incredibly rigid and was terrified of using the extra points that WW gave me. What I learned is that I end up losing more weight by using those extra points. Last weekend when I was in San Francisco I ended up eating apple crisp, tiramisu, cannoli, Burmese food and several glasses of wine and I STILL lost two lbs. I am learning that the more rigid I am and the greater hurry I am in to lose the weight the more likely I am to fail.
* I have had some days in which stress eating seemed like a really good idea( Friday was a PERFECT example. At the end of the day I felt SURE I deserved a surf and turf and a couple of Jack and Cokes). On those days I indulge in some chocolate cheerios or mashed cauliflower with butter or maybe an extra Hostess 100 calorie cupcake( my secret weapon in the battle of the bulge) and I am mostly happy or happier than if I had gone off the points. Also, I tend to tell myself, “with all the stress you are experiencing you don’t need to be eating in a destructive way which will only make you feel worse.” It works and calms my desire for a plate filled with pasta.
* Through this weight loss adventure I have learned that when I make a decision I can do all manner of things that I didn’t think I could do. I am very inspired and emboldened by this insight.
*I am sort of amazed by how when I really decided to do all this that part of my motivation was this fantasy of needing pictures for my book jacket. I decided that losing weight was an important part of the preparation for my writing dreams to become a reality—-yeah, I get that they aren’t really related. But for me, for some reason, they were. Well, Thursdays with Igor is still unsold and unrepresented, but just four weeks into this weight loss journey and I did need pictures taken for my interview with Forest and Bluff. And because I had already lost twelve pounds when I had the photos taken I don’t hate them. I don’t look at them and think “you’re fat”. I am so very grateful for that. I try to imagine the dread I would have felt if I had not lost those twelve lbs. before the pictures—-it would not have been pretty.
* Having support and community makes a real difference. When I decided to join WW I started a Facebook group called “Weasels who do Weight Watchers”. There are less than 20 of us weasels who meet in our members only clubhouse—but I can tell you that all of the weasels who have shared about with me their journey and what has and hasn’t worked for them have been a big inspiration to me. Thank you, Weasels!
* Yesterday when I was getting ready to go out, I tried on some jeans and they seemed a little on the huge side. I came into the living room with just jeans and a bra on. I asked He-weasel for his opinion, “Are these too big?”. “No, not at all,” he answered. I was sort of confused. I asked again, “You really don’t think these jeans are too big on me?” “Oh, he responded looking down to my pants for the first time, “Oh!!!!! You’re talking about the jeans. Yeah, they are definitely too big. Time to give those away.” I have learned an important lesson, I must have my top on if I am going to ask He-weasel any question about sizes or about anything.
Uh, did I mention that I was a ten? Time to dance now. Wanna join me?