My 84-year-old fantasy boyfriend and the father of Archetypal psychology, James Hillman*, says that a great clinical question to ask patients is “what do you want?” Hillman wants to know what patients are fantasizing about having? He wants to know this not to help them make that desire happen but to get where their libido is and what they are symbolically trying to get. He says that to know what a patient wants it is more important than to know about who did what to who when they were five. Not to disagree with my brilliant BF, but I do tend to think that what happened at five is pretty important stuff, but I also think what we want says a whole lot about us and lately I am wanting stuff. I want lots of stuff. And all the stuff I want is stuff that I wouldn’t dare tell Igor about.
I would prefer to tell Igor about sexual fantasies or my bank balance or my most embarrassing moments in life than to tell him that I have a full page of beauty products that I am dying to have as he might want to analyze my desires and in the analyzing of the stuff it might kill the desire for the stuff and I like wanting the stuff. I like the hope that wanting stuff creates. And, for a long time I have been on an anti-hope kick, so the hope that the Diptyque – Feu de Bois (Wood Fire) Candle promises to magically make my home feel more homey or that the entire line of Moroccan oil products promises to make my hair, if not my thoughts, easier to manage.
I think I might know why I want so much stuff. I want what I want because I am doing without. I am dieting and so I am not indulging myself with food or wine, as I did before I began my diet. And even though I am getting thinner (what I want) I am having to not have what I want in order to have what I want (you follow me?). I want things to happen in my career that are not happening. I want to be in Chicago and not here and I am having to wait for what I want. And there is the baby wanting that even though I don’t actively want a baby anymore—I am still left with a big old mound of “I want and I can’t have what I want.” Because I can’t have what I REALLY want I find myself saying that I want all this other stuff. I want to give myself these things because I feel like I deserve them. I indulge the self-indulgent me by saying, “You are doing without over here so let me give you all this other stuff to make up for it.” The truth is that stuff, as good as it is and there is some good stuff that I am wanting, that it won’t make up for what I REALLY want. It simply won’t. An emotional need cannot be met through the purchase of a pair of shoes—no matter how gorgeous they are. I know, I have tried and it never works.
Back to my boyfriend, Hillman, I think that if I was seeing James for therapy (which would be weird because he is my boyfriend*) that he would not want to interpret why I want these things. “dreams tell us where we are, not what to do”. Hilly in his book “The Dream and the Underworld” writes about the importance of staying with the image and NOT interpreting it. Hillman describes his position:
For instance, a black snake comes in a dream, a great big black snake, and you can spend a whole hour with this black snake talking about the devouring mother, talking about anxiety, talking about the repressed sexuality, talking about the natural mind, all those interpretive moves that people make, and what is left, what is vitally important, is what this snake is doing, this crawling huge black snake that’s walking into your life…and the moment you’ve defined the snake, you’ve interpreted it, you’ve lost the snake, you’ve stopped it…The task of analysis is to keep the snake there.
These are some of the items on my Id inspired wish list, or, if you will, the metaphorical snake that Hillman would want me to “stay with”:
* A collection of bubble baths
* Nars Multiples in Copacabana
* Becca Eye Tint in Baroque
* Dr. Brandt Pores No More
* Anastasia Brow Pen in Light
* Bare Essentials shadow in Glimmer
Hillman wouldn’t tell me why I want these things or how to get them, as he says “dreams tell us where we are, not what to do” Hillman, if he heard my list of wants, would: a) probably judge me a little for wanting all this stuff; b) ask me what I would imagine these things would give me; c) he would try and get me to the experience of what it feels like to want these things.
Let’s start with the pajamas. I am feeling a little shlumpadinka in my present sleepwear situation, which is often one half workout wear or flannel printed pajama pants and a long sleeve tee shirt or a white cotton tank top. I am wanting my night-life to have more beauty. Actually, lately I have had this obsession of making my everyday life more beautiful: hence the desire for candles, bubble baths, fresh flowers, and now the pajamas. I am saving all my best clothes and hair and makeup for days that I am going somewhere. As I don’t go anywhere most days except to the gym, for walks with Lily and to Trader Joes—most days I am not going to class or to work or to someplace where I need to dress and do my make up. Why should all the beauty be saved for others? Why shouldn’t I have beauty on the days I am alone and in my house? Huh??? Why?
Then there are the boots. What will they give me? I love how boots make me feel. In boots I feel strong and grounded and chic. I can be wearing just jeans and a long sleeve tee and I feel as if by adding boots to the equation that I have transformed the ordinary into something special. Sure, I already have boots. Why more? Well, I don’t have brown boots. Brown boots feel different than black boots. I only have ever had one pair of brown boots and they felt more introverted than black boots as if they were for me and not for others. Black boots are noticed, brown boots are quiet and steady and warm—and quietly elegant. If black boots are a blond, brown boots are a brunette. I know that doesn’t make any sense but that is how they fee to me. Boots feel like an heirloom in the making—and will endure over time; they will get better with age and they will warm and shape themselves to my life and the peculiarities of my anatomy. In wanting these beautiful Frye Dorado boots I want something that promises that I will endure and age with grace and beauty. I want something that I can count on and something that can change how I feel without any effort. And because the heel on these boots aren’t so very high, these boots are made for walking and having a shoe that allows for mobility is much better symbolically than wanting a pair of five-inch heels that I could NEVER walk in. Isn’t it?
And the make-up, well I suppose that when I look at myself lately I see myself looking old and tired and kind of weary. I have gone through a lot lately and the idea of being pore free and highlighted so I look more alive and having brows that lift my face and my spirit is not such a bad idea. That said, if this was a dream I would definitely look at the word “make-up”. I want, as I said before, to make-up for all that I feel that I don’t have and hence the list of *make-up* is very long. I feel sure that even if I were to indulge myself and buy all the *make-up* on my list that it wouldn’t make up for what I REALLY want.
*Just incase you are new to the blog and/or are James Hillman’s wife or family, Hillman is not really my boyfriend. I just have a mad intellectual crush on him. And,yes, He-weasel is aware of this crush and happily feels unthreatened by my intellectual eros.
We all want what we can and can’t have….it is the balance I find hard to achieve….Oh and the distinction between ‘want’ and ‘greed’….Go burn those candles, sleep slinky and thrash that metaphorical black snake into shape. We girls should have it all….another great post, La Belle, xv.
Getting that balance between want and need is one that I am not even sure that I really *want*.;-) Thanks so much, Vicki!xo
my dear, you give me one reason why you should not have those boots, the slinky sleepy stuff and make-up and candles that make your house winter-worthy like the boots make you feel walking and sturdy worthy right? it all makes perfect sense so buy them…i have a pair of brown riding boots, just plain, very high quality leather, flat heel and have had them for two decades, keep them in a box, dusted, etc, forms, and they look brand new and so stylish…they don’t make them this way anymore, my dear so you get yours NOW and then you can say the same thing too…in other words, you won’t regret it, no matter what the old BF says…i’m writing this at 3am-please forgive typos…hope it makes sense…i am going to buy some new boots too just not right now, i’m going to bed now.xox
Hey, you aren’t helping!;-) Well, maybe you are!! I do think that maybe even my BF would like these boots. They are gorgeous!!!
Hope you dream of shoes!xoxo
I spend each and every day contemplating how to reward myself so I can move onto the next task of mundane job. I frequently wake up in the night in a cold sweat sickened by my profligacy and feel absolutely sure that it is fulfilling a vacancy inside me that should not be there. I really should stop to consider why such materialism brings me so much pleasure, but they do.
Maybe if I placed self control on my list it would help!
I truly love your boots and wish my hideous feet could wear such things of beauty. Whilst I applaud you sense of self indulgence in the home I find my dog combined with my inability to cook without splashing fat scuppers my desire to float around in such style.
Thank you so much for your comments, wouldn’t it be lovely to photograph and edit fashion for a living, then again maybe it is the novelty that me fresh.
At the risk of sounding sycophantic what I have particularly enjoyed about your blog of late is that it has tapped memories and a sense of self awareness I had not contemplated before, defiantly grist for the mill as I walk the dog!
Happy to have my posts be grist for the mill. That is a compliment that means a lot to me. Thank you. And, I must say again..I find your fashion photos to be very inspiring. You are, I think, impacting what I want. Material pleasures are GREAT, I am all for them. I guess my issue at the moment is that I want so much and yet few of these wants really satisfy the real need. However, knowing that does not stop me from wanting!;-)
Good morning, lovely Weasel Friend!
Looking at those boots, I feel the same sharp, visceral thrill of covetous longing that men must feel when viewing Hot Asian Teens. And I was not speaking to my dog when I said, aloud, “come to mama!”
I love your question about make-up. Why, indeed, should it be reserved for others’ eyes only? I go for days with nothing more than lipstick, then for one reason or another, I get out the full war paint and voila! I forget how well I clean up. (or should I say, make up). So why, when looking thus makes me feel prettier/more confident/happier, don’t I do it just for myself more often than once in a blue moon? Especially on a down day. I know you must know the saying “fake it til you make it”? Why don’t I make up til I feel like the gal in the mirror, that pretty one?
As for this business of “making up” for what I want but haven’t got, I know all the steps to that dance. Me and Bobby Darin both want a Dream Lover so we don’t have to dream alone, but none is currently forthcoming. In fact, it is my longest dry spell since…well, since Michigan was a tropical hothouse, populated with parrots and early mammals. So what to do, especially when I feel the sharp, visceral thrill of covetous longing that my married and thus unavailable friend makes me feel? (not you, just for the record) Two words: bacon cheeseburger. Actually, I am not sure I have ever eaten a bacon cheeseburger, but you get the idea. No kisses? Gimme carbs. *sigh* And get that bathroom scale away from me. Sure, it’s Halloween, but there is scary and then there is real terror. *sob*
Finally, it bears saying again…you are a fabulous writer, and I love love love your blog. And you, my Weasel Friend. You rock.
xox
Tiger Friend
Good evening, Tiger-friend! I know, those boots are definitely covet worthy. I hope the boots respond to you call and that they come to you.
It is just wrong that we save our gorgeousness just for others. That said, I tend to be so lazy and/or working so hard when I am alone that I don’t make the time for it. I gotta work on that….cause I’m worth it( L’oreal commercials worked as I can’t get that phrase out of my head).
“No kisses? GImme carbs” would be a great book title and it is a book that I have LIVED. Your line “Michigan was a tropical hothouse, populated with parrots and early mammals” is hilarious and I am guessing a bit of an overstatement. Your poetry is so love filled that I am guessing love isn’t such a distant memory.
Thank you, dear Tiger-friend, you know how to make a weasel feel good about herself. I am a red weasel so I know it is hard to tell when I am blushing..this is me blushing.:-)
And, for the record,I LOVE the way your mind works. I love your comments so much that I think that they ought to be in a blog of their own. However, I am tickled all colours of happy that you bring your brilliance here. Thank you!!!!!xoxo
Ok first thing. You must not save your best things. You MUST use them. When I cleaned out some of my mom’s stuff, I found the beautiful nightgown I bought her still in the bag. She had been saving it. They Frye boots are beautiful, have you checked out Born, they dont cost quite as much. Love the leopard pj’s buy them today.
I think the makeup thing just wanting to find the perfect product that delivers as promised. Still searching for that concealer that really works.
Funny, I was looking for bubble bath last night and didn’t find any that I wanted. I want some that the bubbles last. I did buy new bedroom slippers though. and no, the stuff doesn’t fill the emotional need, but it serves as a diversion at least for a little while. Go buy the pj’s today!
How sad that she never used that nightgown. Really sad. If I find some amazing bubble bath I will let you know. Okay, will take your advice on the pj’s!:-)
p.s. I am very happy with MAC sculpt concealer and Bobby Brown Corrector.
Thanks, I actually have Bobby Brown corrector and I love that. Will check out the Mac. Hope you fly through your busy day today!
Oh darling, I know how you feel. I am staring at the entire Lush collection and telling myself that it will make me feel better.
Just the word lush makes me feel better. Le sigh!
If black boots are blonde, and brown boots are brunette…what colour are redhead boots?
Inquiring redheads want to know.
Red boots!!! But you knew that!;-)
I have the same crush on those boots. They are haunting me. I can’t figure out a way to rationalize this boots crush or the buying of them….yet.
Christine, I believe red boots are the redheads of boots. I’ve always wanted a pair of red cowboy boots. Like my redheaded friend, Tish, they are fiery, charismatic and demand attention. I just don’t think I can live up to them.
They are perfection…at least I think so. I’ll let you know when I get them if they are as good as I dream them to be.
I totally agree. Redheads are red boots. I have a pair and I love them!
I have struggled with this as well; so many of us have. I would urge you not to look at this impulse as pure indulgence and displaced needs. Sometimes these cravings signal part of a transformation.
You have lost some weight, as you said; you’ve come to grips with some difficult things; don’t be hard on yourself. So long as you don’t overspend, and you really delight in the things you get, let yourself have one or two of them!
I’m sorry to report that Diptyque does in fact transform your home. But Henri Bendel has a Firewood candle, less expensive and also exquisite:
http://www.makeupalley.com/product/showreview.asp/ID=48202/Henri_Bendel_Home_-_Firewood/Bath_and_Body_Works/Candles/
“Sometimes these cravings signal part of a transformation.” I like how you think! And I think you are right. I think that I want home to be more lovely and I want my time alone to be as beautiful as my time with others is indeed a sign of transformation.
And, as much as I like the reviews of the Bendel, I think I am giving into the Dyptique candle craving. I can’t wait to breath in that scent.
Thanks so much for leaving the links!
Please, call that a massive list of wants? I can double that in one lunch hour wasted on the internet.
I’m currently imposing a one-in-one-out approach to my wants as my small house can’t accomodate two hoarders worth of stuff.
I have a MUCH bigger list that I didn’t dare post. I was too embarrassed.
Oh darn! Bad link.
http://bigcitymarket.com/zencart/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=627&zenid=35e9ed9705dd23f1ebc2576619b87740
I’m rushing this morning, so excuse me for cutting to the chase: Buy the boots! Then let’s have a Polyvore styling of them — perhaps with your new leopard silk pjs. . . ?
If you tell me how to wear them then I will buy them!
As a slacker in the beauty department, I can’t really comment on craving beauty and fashion products. While other women dream of boots and shoes I just want to take mine off and be barefoot. I do crave beautiful home products. Mostly I crave knowledge and the time to pursue it. I have been like this all my life. I tried stepping up to the beauty plate during my teens and twenties but when I moved to CA in 1990 to work in Silicon Valley, I felt liberated from the pressure to look good. In those days, Adobe gave the engineering staff clothes, T-shirts galore. They fed us too. We didn’t have to think about anything but technology. It was heaven. But I want other stuff. I want Umberto Eco’s library, a vineyard in the hills outside of Rome, an apartment in Venice with annual subscription to La Fenice. Things like that.
You want good stuff—really good stuff. I hope you get the vineyard and the apartment. If you do I will come visit and we can go shopping. You’ll need some chic frocks for your La Dolce Vita.;-)
I say buy those boots they are divine…
I am impressed that you are dieting…I must try that soon myself…and I can see the logic here…while you are paring down your food intake you are mentally expanding in other areas!
I am aware of feeling like I am sacrificing even though it gives me what I want.. That said, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be 5 weeks into WW. I feel such much better having the structure of WW. Strangely, it was a comfort during some recent hard times. Yeah, I need to gain the boots!
We’re both going through that same food deprivation that causes longings to be fulfilled. I’m always walking that tightrope between exercise and consumption. Most of my calories have to be good fuel calories, but I’m allowing myself the tradeoff of more exercise so I can have a treat. So far, so good.
I’ve been thinking about wants a lot lately and I’ve concluded that the thing I want most is to stop wanting and, in some cases, to stop needing. ;-D
I give myself a WW 2 point ice cream bar every night. Three days a week I get a Hostess 100 calorie cupcake( i know it is junk but it satisfies my sweet tooth). And on Thursday nights I have a bowl of chocolate cheerios for dinner( it is my post class reward) and so far it is going well. If I didn’t schedule in treats I would never be able to do this.
When I was trying to conceive I used to beg my an imaginary god to take my desire away from me…it never happened. I believe that part of being alive is desire. Not sure it is possible to live fully without it.
Brilliant. Brilliant. Blindingly brilliant!!
I am a weirdo shopper (like many people) in that I really prefer going to secondhand shops, vintage stores, thrift stores…I like to dig. When I was in high school, the nights before I went to thrift stores I would actually be giddy imagining what I might find (some rare book by a favorite author, signed–a puffy-skirted pink evening gown [which I did find!]–a pair of mailman pants that would look super cool in my mind–the perfect winter coat [also found this]). It was the search and discovery part that I crave/d about shopping…I’m still a bit like this.
I almost never buy pricey things for myself. I feel weird about it. I love looking (online and in person), but don’t usually have intentions of purchasing.
My continuing search for the perfect winter coat continues…(I want one in yellow or orange, or printed!).
Thank you, thank you and thank you!:-) I hope that your digging and hunting leads to finding the perfect winter coat. And I would love to see that puffy-skirted pink evening gown.:-)
“I want” is the theme of my life at the moment. I’m working on “I want what I already have,” but that’s no fun psychologically!
So proud of you on the diet! Me- not so good.
xo
I think Descartes was wrong, I think it is “I want therefore I am”.
Thanks, WW makes it easy to lose weight. It is a wonderful program.
Interesting how things are about feelings and perception… To me, black shoes and boots are pulled together, professional… Brown boots?? The only thing that will make me feel sexier than 5″ heels are my beloved, old and battered brown moose cowboy boots!!! When I walk in them… Ok… Let’s just say I have had caused at least one car accident… Go for them brown sexy boots!!
I LOVE that you have brown moose cowboy boots and that you feel super sexy in them. LOL! You stop traffic and cause accidents! You are fierce. I hope my boots only stop traffic.;-)
it’s true the things we want usually point to something deeper that we want. and at the same time we do the things we want, soothing candles to make our homes a bit cosier, funky boots that help us walk more upright in ourselves, cosy pjs that help us to feel more relaxed in our own skin. since you’re a smart woman, Belle, i’m thinking you can have your cake and eat it too (pardon the metaphor:). you can enjoy these goodies and at the same time get at what they mean… intriguing!! bon courage!!
I can have my cake and eat it too and STILL lose weight!( oh, wouldn’t that be nice!!!!:-)
I love this post. Firstly, Feu De Bois is my winter candle, brought out on the 1st of October every single year without fail.
Secondly my ” wants:” often embarrass me, I think that I shouldn’t need things and indeed they don’t make me happy but still I write lists of stuff I want. It feels so shallow. But then I’m a chronic career dieter, so things are my indulgence because I’m always hungry and live off teeny portions.
Git the boots!
Tomorrow Feu de Bois is coming to my house. I cannot wait!
It is interesting to hear from others how dieting also ups their wants. It makes sense, doesn’t it?
Getting the boots!:-)
You should have all of those things for numerous psycho-emotional reasons but, more to the point, because they are really nice and beautiful and sensual and you are only corporeal once (perhaps) and why wouldn’t you want finery next to your skin, brightening your day. It’s just sensible!
BTW, I thought of you this morning when Scott told me his dreams (more often bad than good) have literally been about bunnies and rainbows lately. He’s starting to get freaked by how pleasant and happy his dreams are. To wit: In last night’s dream he had to wait for something (bad) but while he waited, all of a sudden an air show appeared out of nowhere and kept him occupied till his next activity commenced. What kind of idiot is unhappy about good dreams
YES, TRUE!! Ha, take that Hillman! And getting what I want is me staying with the image and I am already so in my head that maybe giving into what I want puts me into my body. I like it!;-)
LOL! I guess your sweet husband prefers sturm und drang to bunnies and rainbows. I do have to say that too much bunnies and sunshine make me nervous. I like a bit of shadow in my dreams.;-)
But those boots are beautiful..
OK, fine, this coming from the queen of wanting what I want and can’t have and nothing else – from expensive frivolities to general life ‘wants’. This post was awesome because it made me feel like I’m not the only one whose mind works like this.
Still, I think I can objectively say that those shoes are beautiful. xx
Aren’t they? Love them.
And no you aren’t the only one. There are lots of us, I am sure of it.
They really are. Even Hillman would have to agree.xo
Girl if you don’t get those boots, I will, and I absolutely can NOT afford them.
So me getting them is saving you money? That is a good thing, right? It is me being selfless. Right!?;-)
Hmmm.. this so makes sense!! I find when I’m not able to do alot of the physical things or be as independent as I use to be I want “things” more. In my case I would shop for the life I had ….XO HHL
P.S. Dolce would love to hear from Lily and be her Paw Pal… I iwll drop you his contact info…
It does make sense. I hope you find joy in shopping for the life you do have. Shopping for Dolce has to be fun. I LOVE shopping for Lily. Lily is asking for new stationary. She told me she doesn’t have anything nice enough at the moment to send to Dolce. She so takes after her mother.;-)
Oh, I’ve been pining for some brown riding boots too!
I think we do focus on things to “make up” for either something we feel is missing or to distract ourselves from things we cannot control. I think if looking at and thinking about nice things brings us pleasure and we don’t put ourselves in debt or shortchange other areas of our lives, what’s the harm? At any rate, I’ve been obsessed with makeup too the past couple of weeks. ;-p
It seems we share similar wants. The makeup obsession is fun, isn’t it? Donna is fueling mine and I love it.
is it possible that your writing keeps getting better, or is it that every time i read it i just can’t believe how freakin great it is.
i don’t know anyone else who writes like you, well, maybe james frye, but he is too much of a wingnut to compare yours to his,
yours is way more intelligent
anyway, i tried the pores no more and took it back within a few days, even the guy at sephora said he thought the formula needed work.
it is very slippery and doesn’t cover pores, it’s loaded with silicone, theres a lauder product that works much better, and so does the green color base from kohgendo
love you fiercely
is it possible that you are the sweetest thing ever? Yes is the answer. Thank you so much. You made my day!!!! And thank you for saving me from Pores no More. Love you too!
I’ve had a long term problem with not wanting anything. That doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally get things but usually don’t go much further than buying books. If I find an article of clothing I like I’ll wear it til it starts to shred. Jewelry doesn’t interest me at all but I wear two rings – one from my husband and the other from my mother. I gave up on make-up right at the start and wear little other than some lipstick so my overall paleness doesn’t frighten the horses. But I saw those Frye boots and took a little trip to shoes.com. for a quick peek at what they have on offer.
I kind of love that I made you look!!!!!!:-)
Aaah, Belette, your posts always make me think for such a long time afterwards. I have a strange habit of buying books and DVD’s and never looking at them. They pile up and I still need to buy more even though so many of my books are screaming to be read. I can never seem to fill the void with too many books.
Also, I often buy things for Daisy telling myself, ‘well she has to reap something from being an only child.’ Of course I know this doesn’t make good parenting or common-sense but I still continue to do it.
I love your wish list. I know I will be thinking of this post on and off all week now.
Cheerio. xx
I have bouts of book/dvd/cd buying that I don’t end up reading/watching/listening to. I even have some unopened boxes from amazon.com.
Happy to make you think and I thank you for sharing how the want-monster hits you too.xo
i just looked at that pajama link, is that photo with the oriental flowers not the most gorgeous thing ever! i want, i want, and i want to wear the whole shebang while i sit here widowing at my computer. umbrella and all.
I can so see you with an umbrella. You are the chic-est widow ever!
We share very similar wants Miss LBR. I love the ‘shlumpadinka’ word, that is classic and very descriptive! The riding boots are a must. Not even a ‘want’ or a ‘need,’ they are simply a must. They will make Lily look even prettier, trust me on this.
Sending you a smile,
tp
Lily does look amazing next to them. You were so right!!!
I keep trying to tell myself that “stuff doesn’t replace spirit” mostly because I’m a poor student who can’t afford “stuff” LOL I love your wishlist and your interpretations of why you want those lovely things.
Can you explain the black snake quote further? I’ve seen it before and I can never quite get it. Why is it important to keep the snake there and not apply associations or try to amplify it?
We are intellectual, emotional and physical beings. We have needs on all three levels. I suppose the problem is that when we only satisfy the needs on one level.
What Hillman means, I think, is that when we analyze something we lose the energy of it. FOr example, which brings up more feelings a black snake in the room with you or a symbol of a black snake. Hillman says you kill the energy and vitality of the snake by reducing it to a symbol. Does that make sense?
I’m still confused about how one would go about interpreting the dream? Or do you interpret the dream at all? And does that make other forms of dream interpretation invalid?
Can you tell I just got back from class? I’m questioning EVERYTHING
I am on your wavelength with regard to wanting to bring beauty into my everyday life. We are currently worried that my husband’s job will be lost in cutbacks during the next months, and I am not spending much money. But I have tried to do something daily around the house and yard that beautifies. And I am not skimping on my Chanel Sublimage nightcream and eyecream (cannot afford the serum, no way), which I will replace when gone unless we truly are on unemployment by that time!
Just the other night I remembered my wonderful Norm Thompson brown boots. Where in the hell are they? I thought, which was weird since I know I have not worn them in over 15 years. But still. What happened to them? I am not one to lose timeless boots like those (expensive too). Then I remembered. I stored them at my mother’s house – in her garage, stupidly – when I was in transition. They molded there, and were ruined beyond repair. I was thinking about them and wanting another pair of brown boots…and after reading this post I really do want them!
Beauty is not a luxury—-it is a necessity. Didnt someone chic and fabulous say that? If not, they should have. IT’s true. In times of stress one really needs a good eye cream. And your brown boots must be replaced. Tragic about the loss of your other ones. I am so sorry.:-(
You are strongly in tune with what “wanting” really means.
I hope so. That said, it doesn’t stop me from wanting.
Oh my those boots are fabulous! You should have those boots! And all the fabulous things you want, if they are what you want. I want those boots. But I already have flat brown boots, ‘though they are not as nice, so I want them anyway.
When there is something I want that I cannot achieve easily or work my way around I find I want more things. It is comforting to look at them, to imagine myself in them, with them, using them. They don’t really change anything. But we should make up for ourselves.
I’ve been craving makeup because I spend my day looking at the dirt and the garden, or at someone who is beyond noticing and I just want to get him in clean pants. I should makeup for myself, so that the dirt knows I am in control when I bite into it with my shovel and smile at it with my red lips.
This was a very thought provoking post. Too bad I am too tired to rise to the challenge.
I got them and I love them. I highly recommend that you get a pair of your own. You won’t be sorry.
I really believe that when I get hungry for stuff that there is an emotional or mental reason for it. I definitely notice that the dieting has made me more stuff hungry.
I love the way you think, “I should makeup for myself, so that the dirt knows I am in control when I bite into it with my shovel and smile at it with my red lips.” BRILLIANT!!!!
Have whatever you want.. do not analyze anymore…if Hillman is your BF he will not behave like a therapist cause they don’t do that with their own “family” …. So there! do what make you happy!
Are you saying that *therapists* down’t analyze their families???Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa-ha!;-P