1. As promised, pie charts, graphs and the raw numbers of shawl wearers at the James Hillman conference.
2. Theories about why the shawl wearing went into a decline over the three day period. Sure, each day got warmer however my theory about the continued decline in shawl wearing was more psychologically based. It is my assertion that scarf and shawls work like a socially acceptable transitional object for adults. Just a quick refresher on transitional objects from Wikipedia:
In human childhood development, a transitional object is something, usually a physical object, which takes the place of the mother-child bond. Common examples include dolls, teddy bears or blankets.
Donald Woods Winnicott introduced the concepts of transitional objects and transitional experience in reference to a particular developmental sequence. With ‘transition’ Winnicott means an intermediate developmental phase between the psychic and external reality. In this ‘transitional space’ we can find the ‘transitional object’.
So, it is my theory, that upon arrival to the conference, day one, when the transition from regular everyday life into the alternate world of conference-life occurs that the need for a transitional object would be at its highest and when I would expect to see the most shawls in use. Moving into this transitional space would necessitate a need for a transitional object. As one started to feel at home at the conference the need for the transitional garment would decline as evidenced in my pie charts, graphs and other supporting documents.
I would like to let the record show that I did not include ponchos or capes into my data, even though one might make a convincing case that such garments may in fact serve as a transitional object. I also did not include the wearers of the “1980’s style Preppy sweater worn as scarf” phenomenon into the data.
3. Memories of me getting the nerve to actually ask Hillman a question and to publically admitting to him that I have a crush on him and him responding to in a way that was absolutely adorable. Upon hearing of my crush Hilly smiled broadly and without missing a beat told me, “This could be dangerous.” Without hyperbole I can tell you that was one of THE biggest moments of my life. There are many thinkers I would have liked to meet. It would have been nice to meet Freud, Jung, or Joseph Campbell— and as much as I love those men I can tell you that I don’t have a crush on any of them—it is Hilly whose mind blows my mind and makes my heart go a pitter-patter. This is the 12th time I have heard him speak. This was the first time I ever spoke to him. This was BIG for me. So big that I cannot wait until Thursday and I can tell Igor that I actually talked to Hillman.
4. Notebooks filled with notes of all the brilliant things that Hillman said. I don’t dare and try and sum up all that Hillman said at the conference. If you are interested in the topic I suggest you get this book. Or, if you want to see the conference you can purchase the DVD here.
5. “Longing for Paradise: Psychological Perspectives on an Archetype” by Mario Jacoby. I already have the book but as it is in storage, and as I continue to be somewhat obsessed about the symbolism of why Lake Bluff has so long remained a mythical Eden that I feel expelled from, I needed to have another copy.
6. New friends. I made two new L.A. therapist friends who made my time at the conference so much more fun and who will make my life in L.A. better still. It didn’t occur to me until I met them that I really don’t have any therapist friends in L.A. Well now I do.
7. CDs of the Hillman conference that I can listen to again and again and again.
8. Dirty clothes.
9. Just a few pictures. I didn’t get off of campus, so all I have to show your is my gorgeous school’s Montecito campus.
10. Bigger PhD fantasies.
11. An intellectual high and a post-Hillman after-glow that leaves me more radiant than Nars Orgasm blush ever could.
I wonder if you and Hillman might one day end up collaborating on a book together? Just a thought…
I love your transitional object/shawl theory. A shawl is basically a blanket you can wear in public. And that maybe explains my preference for hooded sweaters for casual outings. They are comfy and practical, yes. But if I really needed to, I know I can always cover or hide underneath the hood.
Sounds like it was a wonderful trip and I'm glad you had a chance to speak to your hero! The equivalent of, for me, going to WonderCon in San Diego. Maybe, this year, I'm hoping…
I'm so glad you had a wonderful time and spoke with your beloved Hilly!
I hope to God you weren't wearing a shawl when this glorious moment happened.
Cheryl: He is sooooo out of my league. Really, he is a rock star and I am in the dust. But I appreciate your idea of collaboration.
I do think that hoodies, like shawls, allow for protection and pulling in as a way of protecting ourselves.It is like our own little shell.;-)
I can't wait to hear about your trip to WonderCon.
Lola: No shawl;I was wearing a LBD and some gorgeous blue beads. But I did feel so nervous when I spoke to him that I could have used a blanket over my head to prtoect me from his gaze.;-)
EEEEK! What a great trip. I am thrilled for you. And the shawl data is hilarious. I snorted my drink while reading. Good on you for admitting your mentor crush. How fun – and liberating.
K.line: It is hard to be back home. It all feels so ordinary. I want to be a forever student. Why isn't grad school free???If it was I don't think I would ever do anything else but go to school! Lucky for me I get to see Hillman two more times in the next two weeks. Life is good.
Hillman sounds like a large hearted soul, deep thinker, smiling type.
It can be such a huge moment to speak to someone who grows in our minds as we read their books, nod our heads to their thoughts and research.
I feel the same with many authors. I don't know if I would have the nerve to meet/greet them ever. You did, and I hug/applaud you for that!!
PS: Hillman wasn't wearing a shawl, is my guess.
Clearly 'fuffies' take many forms…
Ohhhh….fantastic.
Your theory works, totally. I love it.
I am thinking about the transitional objects of life right now…(moleskine notebooks, iPods, cell phones).
INTERESTING!
Glad it was good.
I am in hysterics over the pie chart, bar graph and line graph! You are thorough.
So, are you & Hillman involved in a torrid affair yet?
Terresa: LOL! No, no shawl on Hillman. But I do have a fashion related Hillman story that I will share later.
And, truth be told, Hilly is a TOUGH cookie and doesn't suffer fools gladly. When I said at the end of my question, "You aren't as scary as I thought". He answered, "I can be" and then he laughed.
LPC: Handbags, cellphones and even water bottles can all serve as blankies.;-)
The Storialist: Thanks. Really, I am actually thinking about writing this as a serious journal piece. I am going to do some more research and see if I can turn it into a publishable piece.
Stacy: I thought if I was going to make an argument I needed to provide proof in triplicate.;-)
As to your question, I am working on it. I see him again on Sunday.
It sounds fabulous! Too funny about the shawls. I'm THRILLED you actually were able to speak to him, and get a response!!!
I'm having my transitional object glass of wine right now.
Deja Pseu: And my question was asked during the conference so the entire interchange is on the cd and the dvd—so I have proof.;-)
Porsha: I have no idea what you said. But if you are saying you have Hillman's home number I will happily take it.
PIE CHARTS! Pie charts taste good with Cool Hwip.
Wendy: I would proudly partake in your pumpkin pie-charts.
That campus looks magical! If I had studied there I don't think I would have been able to do anything else than look at the scenery! wow!
I loved your graphics (hihihi) and I loved even more that you dared to tell Hillman that you have a crush on him. I'm smiling just at the thought of it and I bet you got some laughters from the rest of the audience when you said it
And as for Phds, they ARE free in some countries. You can do one for free (no tuition) in Argentina (or in Holland for instance)…in case you want to take a sabbatical and travel somewhere exotic to study
Ruby, I'm thrilled for #3. Congrats! I wouldn't have the nerve, at least not in public!
You have a gorgeous school, would have loved to attend it if I could turn back time
Glad you had a blast in SB.
Your stats about scarves only put "water on my mills" (rough translation of a German saying)that scarves, be they from Walmart or Hermes- only are kind of Charlie-Brown-Blankets for grown-ups. I always said so, and your post confirms me
)
kind regards, Martina
GO for that PHD La Belette!!!
GO WEASEL GO!!!
oxox
XuXu
http://www.frenchshelter.blogspot.com
The more I blog the more I want to move and be involved in other people's lives – how beautiful is that campus?!
Loved your shawl charts, sitting here trying to identify my transitional objects – is it a bad sign if I can't think of any? Should I be inventing some to make myself appear alot more interesting.
Sharon – currently shawl-less
Your theory makes total sense to me. Which day, if any, did you wear your shawl? Were you wearing it when you asked Hilly the question?
Yah! The shawl charts are wonderful. I love his response, I bet he looked at you and then gave that answer. Had it been one of the shawl gang he might have said 'nice shawl'
I'm also feeling inspired for Phd but struggling how I can do it and earn some money to keep us alive.
Just spent the weekend with a pal who teaches at a swank private school in SB and used to tutor the "stars'" children. When I visited her some years ago, she took me through Montecito so I could thrill to its loveliness.
How exciting! Beautiful pictures. Go for the PhD
Re: 3. – YOU REBEL, YOU!!!! and his response: now I love him even more!
AJ
Re: "transitional object" – I had a beloved doll – I named her Magdaleine – stolen from me when I was 8 – it was the most traumatic moment of my childhood – do you think this AWFUL even shaped who I am today? (could you ask Hilly, maybe?)
Your visuals far exceeded my hopes — and love the theory that came with 'em!
Gorgeous setting, intellectual stimulation, a frisson of electricity: sounds like a great conference.
[signed, former Blankie owner who is currently amassing an awful lot of scarves/shawls...hmmmmm]
The shawl as transitional item…brilliant.
A new generation of wisdom masters can only emerge from integration. You are well on your way and I'm very pleased.
Crow took my shawl and hid it when I was twelve.
I just got an after glow from reading this blog post…I am so with you on 'transitional objects', I so see it at any conference I attend except that women scientists are not so much into shawls, perhaps it is the briefcase, or suit, or the masculine look but certainly things do relax after a few days!
So thrilled you spoke to Hilly and I bet you that you made his day…he will remember this forever : )
I am going to get the book recommended, so thrilled about this, and i am so pleased you now have two therapists friends in LA.
Welcome back!
xoxoxo
We appreciate that you included us along the more ubiquitous pie chart.
Sincerely,
The International Brotherhood of Bar Graphs
Last week you conjured up an image of you spewing forth sailor-approved vulgarities, this week, adolescent girl squee. I'm impressed.
My transitional item is a book. Always carry one with me.
Go for the PhD, Belette. You are brilliant.
PS: I left you something @ my blog today…some blog love & steaming waffles. Hope you're not allergic to virtual chocolate chips?
Marcela: It is a gorgeous campus. But I have to tell you that the other campus in Carpinteria is ten times more beautiful than this. It is hard to imagine more beauty and yet I assure you there is.;-)
I was soooooooooo nervous to ask Hillman a question. I spent all weekend forming it and when I got up to ask it took me 10 minutes to get into the real line and in front of the microphone. And as fate and synchronicity would have it just as I got to the front of the line he said, "let me take a minute to talk about how important the crushes you had in your youth are. Look back to see who you had a crush on and what that tells you." It was tooooo perfect. I had the perfect opening to tell him about mine. It was a gift from the gods that I couldn't pass up.
A PhD at Pacifica would cost me close to $100,000. You would think they would give me one for free since I am giving them all this positive press. Wouldn't that be nice?
Lynn: I was sure I was going to faint or die or worse. I was shaking and breathless and yet managed to hide it well enough that I was able to speak. I am proud of myself!;-)
Martina: Thank you!!! I am delighted to have a long time believer in my theory. I am seriously looking into this to write about academically. I know it seems like a silly topic but there is often truth in humour!
French Shelter: It is taking on the debt of the PhD that puts me off. Why aren't there benevolent benefactors anymore?
sharon: Santa Barbara is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Right up there with France!:-)
It is my hunch that it is better to be an adult who does not need a transitional object. I would, if I were you, be proud of your non t.o. status.
Lydia: To be totally honest I did pack two shawls/scarves. I, however, never wore one. It just seemed wrong to wear one as to do so might impact my objectivity.
Make Do Style: I have a feeling Hilly would be anti-shawl. As I said before, I do have a sartorial observation about Hilly that I will share once I have attended all his events this month. He is a bit of a fashion rebel, yet another reason to love him.
If money was no object I would likely have at least three PhDs.
Miss Cavendish: How lucky you are to have a friend in Montecito. When you come to visit her again I would happily come out to meet you there. There is so much loveliness there to see: Lotus Land; The Buddhist Temple; Orchid farms; etc.
Julianne: Thanks. Fear and cash are holding me back from starting on the application.
A.J. : Wasn't his response fantastic? Yes, it made me love him more too.
Re: Magdaleine: I hope whoever stole her has suffered boils, rickets, and other miseries. How awful to steal someone's T.O. My T.O. was a blankie named "Decca" and it was thrown away by our housekeeper named Marla. I have never forgiven or forgotten.;-)
Vix: It seems to me that the more graphs, charts and the like that one has the more they are taken for an authority on the subject. It is my intention to become THE indisputable authority on therapists and shawls.
Thank you for sharing your own blankie history and current shawl collecting. I appreciate you helping to prove my point!:-))
Belle de Ville: Thank you!!!:-)
susan: I am sure that crow made a lovely nest out of your blankie that he would share should you ever require a nest-house.;-)
MrsLittleJeans: Before you go to your next conference I would LOVE to talk to you and see if you would be willing to take some notes about what you notice sartorially.
Hillman did look pleased to know that he could inspire a crush. His wife was in the audience and I wonder if she was as pleased?;-)
I can't wait to talk to you about what you think of the book and of Hilly's ideas.
Please tell Ollie that there is a GORGEOUS black cat( a girl) who lives on the Pacifica campus and I told her about Ollie. She seemed keen on meeting him.;-)
The International Brotherhood of Bar Graphs: I do think that bar graphs are overlooked and underused as bars can bring to mind both prison and saloons and I believe that this has unfairly impacted the use of bar graphs—while pie charts create warm and fuzzy apple pie ideas. I will continue my support of bar graphs and the brotherhoods mission. Thank you for your comment and recognition.
Randal:Hillman would say that I am capable of containing many archetypes. I am a salty sailor and an adolescent girl.
Angie: Books are something beyond a T.O. They allow one to go inner when they are outer. WHile T.O.'s protect one from the outer. Different functions, I think, but both important.
Thank you, dear you, for the kind encouragement.
Terresa: THANK YOU!!! You are so sweet and the waffles are delicious!!!:-))))
Great to hear about this conference and especially your courage in addressing Hillman. I think it is so important to make our fantasies real and then see what happens….scary too though. Which archetypes does Hillman embody for you?
I love your shawl theory! I may need to book a session to discuss my fondness for indoor summer-weight scarves. I'm sure it has to do with my mother …
Satya: I so wish you had a blog!!!! I think it every time I read your comments. You, my friend, are a smarty with a background in this stuff. You can't hide it.
I was so terrified I would lose my voice or he would attack me( which is neither are totally out of the realm of possibility).
Undoubtedly, without a doubt, Hilly is both the Puer and the Senex. I noticed a strong theme in me of being attracted to Puers who look like Senexes(grey hair/suits/older) and who are distant, unavailable and who are soooo smart that I lose my voice in their presence. These kind of men( Hillman, Bill Clinton, Charlie Rose, etc.) are all just more successful versions of my father.
Tara Z.:Thanks for the shawl theory love.
I do think that shawls have to do with the mother. Hillman might disagree with me—but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.;-)
Speaking to your hero could've been disappointing – I'm so glad
that wasn't the case.
Shawls are making much more
sense now !
Cheers Belette.x
I'm really pleased to learn that you got validation from your crush/hero!
I had a thought from the last post that I didn't think of until I moved on to this one: if you hate Starbuck's, why do we keep meeting/having coffee there?
You are hilarious! Did they change the airconditioning temperature in the conference room over the 3 day period?
Definitely go for the PhD
Cheers and remember some decisions in life are not financial … (easier said than done, I know!).
Carolyn
My Sydney Paris Life
And you can do pie charts too! Who knew?
All kidding aside, it sounds like an excellent experience for you in so many ways, I'm tickled you had such a good trip. (Although the shawl count was higher than I expected.) And in such a gorgeous setting Miss LBR, it looks like bliss.
Smiles at you,
tp
Jan: I was worried he would be mean to me and I would be crushed. I am so happy it didn't go that way.
enc: I don't mind their espresso shots( which is what I always get when we meet there). I am just not a fan of their mixed drinks or regular coffee. And if SCP had a Peet's I would definitely want to meet there.
Imogen: No. The a.c. was consistent. But it did get warmer over the weekend.
Carolyn: If I could get full financial aid for the PhD I would jump in with both feet. However coming up with an extra $35,000 a year is going to take some kind of miracle.
thepreppyprincess: Yes, I am an excel wizard. No, that's not true. I am a muggle when it comes to excel.;-)
It is a place that is both inner and outer bliss. I feel so lucky to be so close that I can visit often.
You are one of the smartest bloggers I know.