I am not one to bust out a Bible story to make my point. I am more likely to turn to Greek mythology, literature, movies or even unproven anecdotes to prove my position. However sometimes an Old Testament story (or myth, depending on your take on the good book) is just the ticket. The other night He-weasel was watching a Discovery or History Channel show (which ever channel it is that has tons of shows about airplanes, WW2, Hitler and sharks) and they were talking about the story of Lot and his wife and how when they were told to relocate out of the city and into the burbs Mrs. Lot was not at all happy with her lot in life. As soon as I heard the story I couldn’t help but see some personal parallels with this salty sister.
Mrs. Lot wanted to stay in the city. She liked Chicago or Sodom and Gomorrah or whatever city it was that the Lots lived and it had taken her a very long time to find the perfect condo with a northern exposure and a view of the Red Sea—- and it had taken even longer to decorate it (it takes forever to get fabrics imported from Egypt). Mrs. Lot liked having access to the R.T.C.S., the Rapid Transit Chariot System. She liked the good restaurants that were just a short camel ride away from and then there was the great theater( they had just purchased season tickets to see the new works of Aristophanes). And there were all the cultural opportunities for the girls: museums, scarf dancing lessons and great schools with the latest technology including the I-abacus pads. It had taken them forever to make new friends as S&G; was not a town that was kind to strangers and after a lot of effort they finally had made some friends they could have over for hookah and hummus or who they could watch the Monday Night Camel Races with or even play a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit: The Old Testament Edition.
Mrs. Lot was sick and tired of the nomadic life of her wandering Jew of a husband. Just as soon as the Lots got settled in Gomorrah, Mr. Lot got news that he was being transferred by his boss, Mr. G. And Mr. G would not take no for an answer. Seriously, if he had said no it would have not just been the death of Mr. Lot’s career—it would have been a literal death. That didn’t stop Mrs. Lot from pitching a holy fit. Out of desperation she suggested they consider a commuter marriage. He could go back to being a road warrior and with all the frequent flier points that he would earn on his travels they could take romantic getaways to the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and/or meet-up for romantic weekends at Bed and Breakfasts in Bethlehem. Mr. Lot wouldn’t hear of it. So they packed up the dromedary U-haul and headed toward the suburbs. When they were just about to leave the city gates Mr. Lot warned his despondent wife to not look back at their old home town. He had seen a Dr Phil special on “How to survive the stress of moving” and Phil had told the audience filled with the seven tribes of Abraham that the only way to endure a 40-year road trip is not to turn back, he also advised not hording delicious carbs that fell from the sky but that is another story. Mrs. Lot knew Dr. Phil was right and yet she couldn’t help herself. And so she did it.
If you listen to the Bible’s take on all this Mrs. Lot was punished for her relocation reluctance by turning into a salt sculpture. It is my argument, for this revisionist history, that Mrs. Lot was symbolically reified by her action in a metaphorical way. She lost her mobility by looking back. She was stuck in her mental and emotional state and she lost her fluidity and ability to move. I feel like I have a lot in common with Mrs. Lot. I didn’t want to leave Lake Bluff. I kept looking back. I thought, that at some level, that the looking back was wrong and even self-injurious—-but I see now how important the backward gaze to my lost home has served me. Sure it made me frozen and inactive for a while, but I am a believer that even frozen and inactive can be purposeful.
C.G. Jung said this about the subject: Looking back slowly becomes a habit, no matter how much you detest and try to suppress it….The backwards look will not fail to show you sides and aspects of yourself long forgotten and other ways of life you have missed or avoided before. The more your actual life becomes routine and habit, the less it will be satisfactory. If one has nothing to look forward to except the habitual things, life cannot renew itself any more. It gets stale, it congeals and petrifies, like Lot’s wife who could not detach her eyes from the things hitherto valued. Yet these insipid fantasies may also contain germs of real new possibilities or of new goals worthy of attainment. There are always things ahead, and despite all the overwhelming power of the historical pattern they are never quite the same.
In my fantasy of Mrs. Lot there will come a day for her when those who love her see the value of her salton nature ( Salt was VERY important back then. Salt preserved. Salt was more valuable than gold. Most major cities are where they are because there was salt there. So there has to be symbolic and/or literal value to being turned into salt). And I believe that Mrs. Lot will see what she has learned from her time of immobility. By really facing her grief for the life she left behind in S and G and not turning away from her feelings prematurely is what will ultimately liberate her from her frozen state. The tears that come with grief will soften her stance and movement will once again be possible. With that softening she will begin to look forward and see what possibilities and potential lie ahead of her in her new home at the Land of Milk and Honey Master-planned Community in which she and her family now live.
Like Mrs. Lot, I still look back to Lake Bluff and there are days when I still cry for the life I left behind. However, I find myself looking back less and less. Most days I am looking forward—even though I am not at all sure where I’m going.
"However, I find myself looking back less and less. Most days I am looking forward—even though I am not at all sure where I'm going."
Ditto. I LOVE.
xoxoxox
That's great. You are now ready for new, great things to manifest in your life! Isn't it exciting?!
And, after all, we never know what the future will bring-even if at times we think we do.
XOXO
I think it's easier to cry for the life we only just missed than for the one we left behind. And looking forward yes always, if there's no optimism there's no life.
Loved the life of Mrs Lot in S&G;, wish I had your talent.
Brilliant! I'm guilty of being a Mrs Lot. I look back at choice I did or didn't make. I look back at things I've lost, left or sold along the way. I look back at these possessions and wish I still have them but both Jung and the Old Testament (have never read it) have highlighted this is a problem.
I've also moved a lot and in this process I lost, left and sold things and perhaps these items are a representation of my doubts, the wisdom of my choices.
You have in one post solved my feelings of frustration, solved my future decisions and freed me. You are far more productive than Dr Phil.
I don't quite know what to do now with this new found freedom but perhaps I won't feel so frustrated which manifests itself in being snappy at home xxx
Wonderful post, LBR. I wish I had some insight to add, I don't, but wanted to say I got chills reading. Thank you.
Right on…and some parallels with my own life.
I dig this post
Yes, I've always found that story to be so fascinating with so many layers to it. There is so much to be gained from staying with breath in the present moment as much as possible. I am a person who doesn't look back as much as always leaning forward to the better life ahead. Such an interesting post, Belette. xx
I 11/10 happy that I found your blog! It is hilarious, I hope you don't mind but I might add you to my blog role. I wish I had a 90210 analyst. So unfair. FF xxx
Wonderful post. I am someone who tends to look back as well; we moved twice when I was a child and it was very traumatic. But I agree there can be positives in looking back, as how else do we learn from the past? Also, by looking back, I am someone who tends to keep old friendships alive. I am still in touch with two childhood friends and many from high school, college, and previous jobs. But of course I was also able to look forward, make new friends, and move on, which is the ultimate goal.
Love your analogy (and updating!) of the story of Lot's wife, and your pointing out the importance of salt in that time. I hadn't thought about what the meaning of the salt was before in that story. After all, she could have turned into a pillar of stone. But it was salt. Brings a whole new meaning to the story.
Wonderful post! You are moving along. I always used to listen to the lyrics of Dionne Warwick that said " A fool will lose tomoorrow looking back at yesterday." Because the first time I really heard them I knew how guilty I was of that. Sometimes it works!
I always feel like I am going to jump out of my skin if I don't have something to look forward to or some project!
I love this post…very affirming…. I like to say I have no regrets….and I don't. Just sometimes I wonder….what if….
Holy moly! This is amazing writing! You are worth well more than your weight in salt, ma belle, and I am glad you are beginning to feel that, too.
big love to you
Kirie
This is such a wise and astute observation about a story that's always remained mystifying to me. Here we are on the cusp of our own major change and I found myself banging around in my head for two weeks weighing the pros and cons of east or west coasts (never mess with mr. in-between). After a while change itself is a terrifying concept and so we look back to gather our courage for facing an unknown future while the tide of life pulls us inexorably away from the chimeric shore. Your story echoes a conclusion that brought me relief this past weekend. It's east. Back to the future.
Its when you play these chords that your best work comes out. Fantastic writing.
This has to be the funnest way the story of Lot was told…I think Mrs Lot did not have your abilities so she remained frozen, you my friend, do!
Love always…
xxx
I think an entire Bible-retelling may be in order.
That's wonderful that you find yourself focusing on forward (which is always uncertain).
I always think about Kierkegaard, who had a lot to say about passion and uncertainty….that certainty actually erases passion, and that with uncertainty, there is something at stake (hence the passion). He connects this idea to faith, but I see it as applying to pretty much everything.
The only time I look back is when I'm mining the salt for new material.
Poor Lot's wife. She doesn't even get a name! She's just Lot's wife. Phooey!
I always had trouble with this story. Only because of how Catholics have warped it.
I like your take on it better. In the Catholic version this is where her story ends, with a big, scary lesson for all those who fall back into sin. In your version this is just a temporary holding place until her tears of grief, once shed, allow her to move on.
Thank you, by the way, for your advice the other day. I am, and have been for a while, done with her. I think I knew she'd react the way she did to what I said…And I said it anyway…I'll need to contact her one last time, though, just so I don't have to dread seeing her giving me the evil eye one of these days in Peets or TJ's, since we live in the same town. In the future, if she grows up in the meantime, maybe we can be friends again. But I kind of doubt it…Once a friend hurtles the b word at you, like Lot's wife, it's best not to turn back.
This is one for the book.
wow! belle belette this is a powerful post. and too it really speaks to me and where i am at. for almost all of my 'blog journey' you have been with me. that thing that livelies me up is travel. it helps me to let go of what i mourn and it allows me to see new possibilities. but it is a long road. i started my blog to help ease the pain for what i felt i lost and was missing. and now, it is not that i am full, but i am feeling less and less empty, less pain. and that feels good. i feel like i am moving from negative to zero and am incredibly hopeful moving towards the positive. i want this very much.
i hope that the writing of your post has helped you as much as it has helped me. we mourn a past that brought us joy. we have been lucky to live such joyful moments, and i hope we will again. somehow that pain, that salt is melting, disolving, and i want to dance on a table because of it.
thank you so much for writing this. it puts into words so much of what we both have been feeling.
you wrote:
"The tears that come with grief will soften her stance and movement will once again be possible. With that softening she will begin to look forward and see what possibilities and potential lie ahead…"
i claim those new possibilities and potential. i am grateful and happy and i sprinkle them with beauty and love and joy!
mucho hugs and thanks again!!
audrey
That is a very clever comparison – and you have unpacked it really well. Keep looking forward Belette – it sounds as if you are really getting there.
Wonderful link with the Jung quotation – thank you! I think the key word there is 'Looking back SLOWLY…' There is an element of time involved in this process, and slowing time down before it can start to speed up again. I also agree with you that 'frozen and inactive can be purposeful'. Looking forward, without being sure where you're
…going is being unfrozen and alive. If you're sure where you're going, then you may still be frozen.
Interesting – my comment got cut off in mid-flow – maybe I wasn't sure where it was going!
Brilliant how you wrote this! Maybe you should rewrite the whole Old Testament? It would definitely make it more attractive!
Now, there are so many « truths ». Should we look backwards to learn, should we dream about and plan for the future … or should we just enjoy “today”? Maybe reasonably a bit of all?
I totally get this. I still spend way too much time looking back to what I left in Rhode Island, and am hoping one day it will stop. When you spend too much time looking back you stop seeing what's in front of you. But I so agree with the needing time to heal…no easy answers but I think you hit a lot of them in this post!
I am in awe, you know. This is better than any version I had heard in Sunday school or since.
Love and hugs to you, you beautiful writer!
The Jung quote r.e. habits is a thinker…I am often mystified by motivation, demotivation and procrastination. I wonder how memories, being stuck in a rut, and reciting the past to oneself plays into this. Most of the time I feel demotivated, stuck in a rut, then something suddenly strikes me and I am full of life and energy. I create something new…a new living situation, a new job, a new relationship, etc. Then I get stuck again. I wish I could find the source of my motivation and control it a little better so I could be more productive. When I am stuck I look back on those periods of productivity and feel bad about my current state.
what a beautiful, moving and uplifting post Belette.
xx pbc
I keep looking back… (and collecting salt…)
I love your version of the story, Belette…
Warmest hugs and much love…
This is a great post… they say you should embrace change and nothing ever stays the same . but its hard when its your home and whats comfortable xx
Hullo Mme Belette Rouge,
It's not right to parody the bible in this way. All truth and the answer to every question can be found in the bible – all you have to do is move the words around a bit sometimes……
Great post. Very witty and thought provoking even if it did make me think that with his interests perhaps it should be Msr Le Belette who is following my blog and not you.
It seems you ARE worth your salt after all!
kind regards…..Al.
My favorite History Channel show is the one documenting how they put Hitler's brain in a shark.
This was an extremely cool post/story/self-exploration/revelation/what have you.
Now, in the interest of fiction, I highly suggest and plead that you rewrite other tales from world mythology.
Interesting post! I liked the quote by Jung.. because it does seem like once everything is in place and going along in a routine way, I do get ansty or unsatisfied and I look for new things in life. Aha! Now I understand more why that happens… cool!
I love how you flipped this around and connected the importance of salt with her fate of being immobile. We are human. We have to process. We have to be frozen sometimes.
Excellent post! I loved it.
I like what Mr. Jung had to say — insipid fantasies may contain germs of new possibilities. I'm liking this a lot…
Hummus sounds good. Mmm.
"She lost her mobility by looking back." I'm no Bible scriptorian, but yes, this is so true!
Liked this post, about how routine can petrify us, and looking back, too.
I'm a person who likes some routine at certain points of the day, but in between, the fluidity, spontaneity, spice, is really what life is all about, isn't it?
Sugar, I'm just glad you're *here.*
XO
A.
Fabulously told. I'm so glad that you are looking forward. I've been guilty of being a Mrs Lot far too often, especially in the recent past. I hope we have both left it behind us.
It sounds like you're making peace with your Lot in life, and that you're taking forward steps. You might be inching, but you're going forward.
I loved this!
A wonderful retelling. Much more transformative than the original.
(Still lurking about here.)
I'm bopping around your blog, finding things that I missed (I've missed a lot of things lately, been in my own world). Just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this post. It's humorous, I learned something, and is also so on point.
Thanks for the insights. They were a springboard for thinking for my own Lot in life. I appreciate your dedication to writing. I too am on a journey to write whenever and wherever (daily).
Thanks so much, Genpelaine. I hope your “lot in life” is lightened and illuminated through your writing. I don’t know where I would be without writing. My hunch is that I would be a big old statue of salt!;-)
This is a fantastic site, Barbara. I was actually writing a chapter for a novel I’m writing – I’m writing it piecemeal on my blog http://www.wordsfallfrommyeyes.wordpress.com (the vodkawasmymuse blog is about my steps to sobriety – it’s a video diary) – and I was looking up “lot in life”. I got this page & was totally waylaid for about 15 minutes!
Your writings are wonderful, worthwhile. You’re a great woman.
Cheers
Noeleen
I don’t know how I got to this page but, I am comforted and almost reassured. I have been dealing for a while thinking that I am on a path that has me wandering to nowhere. I am unable to see or envision whats next. I remember being in a city where everything was moving yet having to move back to my hometown depresses me to the point that I feel stagnant, stuck. Although, I cryed all the way through your post, I am thankful that you took the time to share. I now know that the pain of what used to be will fade and Ill look back less and less. Thank you!