I have been waiting for this appointment for months. I have not seen anyone about my face since the last time I had Restylane and that was a very long time ago—back in Chicago. And, all of the tears I had cried over the move, over Inkey, and the subsequent misery of Austin did bad things to my face.
I had a list of things I wanted to talk to Dr. Famous about.
Here is my list:
1. The funky growth on my heel. Be glad I am not posting a picture of this thing. It is…, no, I cannot describe it as I fear you may be eating your breakfast.
2. Botox. Not an option. Must have. I have furrowed, knitted and a line filled forehead. I have so many lines on my head it looks like a map of the L.A. freeway system. Sooooo not pretty.
3. Perhaps laser for the scar on my eye.
4. And, the very important topic of what can he do to make me look less old and freckled and tired.
Shock #1 of my adventure. Dr. Famous has three offices and I got the appointment at one of his satellite offices and it is not the chichi office with a huge aquarium, Roche Bobois leather sofas, a plasma screen TV showing all the lunch time procedures that Dr. Famous offers. Nor did it have the people I imagined. I had envisioned an office full of minor-league starlets, Palos Verdes trophy wives who had spent too much time on the tennis courts, and sundry seekers of beautification. Instead Dr. Famous’ south bay satellite office was in an old and tired medical building that looked like it might be a Medicare only institute. I should have taken a picture. It is beyond my writing ability to relay to you the creepiness of this building. It looked like a set in a Cohn brothers film. There was a sofa bought in the 70′s that greeted you as you walked into the lobby with the smell of urine. And, there were octogenarians waiting for their bus back to the retirement home. The elevator gave me pause, the doors opened like a reluctant toddler who is being fed spoonful of beets and Lima beans. I chose to take the stairs. When I finally found Dr. Famous’ office I was enormously relieved.
As I opened the door all my fantasies melted away, rather than the Doctor 90210 fantasy I had held it was an office filled with sufferers of extreme melanoma. Oh, dear readers, if I learned anything yesterday it is to wear your sunblock and wear it each and every day and be sure to get it on your nose and your ears. 90% of this packed waiting room had bandages on their nose and ears. I sat and waited for my name to be called and as I waited I recalled every serious sunburn I have ever had and I planned a way to be more diligent about sunscreen. I would keep a bottle in my purse and in my car and by the front door—and in He-weasel’s car. Skin cancer and the removal of the skin cancer is not pretty and it made me somewhat ashamed of my vain motivations for being there. But, not bad enough to stop me.
Dr.. Famous and his assistant were perky, friendly and all together gregarious—making a lovely change from his waiting room of patients who all looked like they were suffering leprosy. I brought out my list of topics to discuss.
1. The foot growth, he advised me to not have it removed but to use a medication and bandage it well and if it doesn’t come off this way in three months he would freeze it and do surgery. Being an instant gratification gal I wanted to do that immediately. He warned me that as it was on the foot that it would be very painful and it would be difficult to walk or wear shoes after the procedure. Enough said.
2. Botox. Not a problem. He, however, was the first doctor who required me to look in the mirror when I squinted and frowned so he could see what was bothering me. Oh, it was horrible. I am usually okay with my face. But seeing myself make crazy frowns in the mirror with the cruel shock of fluorescent light and the light roots of my hair colour taunting me, I was ready to ask for a face transplant.
The Botox was, as always, totally painless. And, immediately I could see my forehead improving. Botox is now and always one of my favorite things. If you are considering it I advise you to seek a well qualified M.D. who is not sporting a frozen face. I always make it a point to tell them I want to be able to move my forehead—and I have never suffered the cliche’ immovable face—good doctors will not leave you looking like Joan Rivers.
Botox when used on the brow can result in a bit of a brow lift. Dr. Famous did a really good job. I look more rested and alert and not like I have been crying nearly every day since January 1st.
3. When I showed him the scarring on my eye he sort of laughed and said, “You really can’t see that. But, if you want I could resurface it. ” Next…
4. Then there was the all important question of whether he had any peels, potions, or lasers that would make me look younger and better. He looked at my face and made the hmph noise. Nobody wants to hear the humph noise when someone is considering your face. I grew anxious. “Well, really all I see is the melasma and as you are still young and producing estrogen”—let me stop here—I wanted to kiss him at this point and then I remembered that I was the youngest person in the office and that nearly all the patients are much older. I mean Willard Scott has probably wished them a happy birthday—so, I probably seem younger to Dr. Famous in the context of his case load at this office. Okay, back to the melasma. Dr. Famous recommended a cream of retina and hydroquinne that I had already tried. He said again about how if I was making estrogen and in the sun whatever he did might not last. He really was not selling hard. I was practically having to beg him to let me do IPL. He warned me the results might be subtle.
Then I asked him about Vii beam lasers, Fraxel, Affirm laser and a mid-level peel. He screwed up his face as if he was about to get a Botox injection and said, “No, you don’t need it.” Dr. Famous then gave me a refill for Renova and told me to come back in three weeks if I needed more Botox. He would touch it up at no cost.
It is a day later and I am delighted with the results of the Botox. I know this is not for everyone. But, I love it and I am amazed at the difference it makes. That said, I asked my He-weasel if he noticed anything different about me before he left for work this a.m. I could see panic in his eyes, “Did you get your hair coloured?” he asked.