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Monthly Archive for January, 2008

The Curse

It has been a month since we found out that we would never have a baby. I woke this a.m. with what is usually the sign that we had failed again.

For the last four years, there were things we would do every time this definitive sign would arrive. First, I would cry. Then I would tell He-weasel. We would then cry together. Next I would tell all those on the sidelines that had been prayerfully rooting for us that we were not pregnant and then I would cry with them. The last call of the day would be to my reproductive endocrinologist and I would tell them that once again all the drugs, pain, and piles of money we had given them had led to naught. The nurse would try to ignore my tears as we scheduled my 3012th appointment for blood tests and ultra sounds. Next, I would swallow some Advil and then lie around the house and feel incredibly sad and sorry for myself. I would rage against the ease at heroine addicts, Britney Spears and adolescent girls get pregnant. I would practice pretending that I hate children. I would imagine becoming the woman on the street who takes the ball away from the neighborhood kids when it gets in her yard, refuses to buys Girl Scout cookies and doesn’t give out Halloween candy. Then, I would tell my he-weasel what kind of ice cream to pick up for me at Sweet Pea’s on his way home (it was usually one scoop of coconut and one scoop of mocha almond fudge).

Today was the first time in four-years that my reaction was so markedly different. I didn’t cry. I didn’t tell my he-weasel or my friends. There is no doctor to call. There is still the need for Advil and the anger at those who so easily do what I couldn’t do. Today the target for my rage is Nicole Kidman and her ability to so easily get pregnant at 40. I usually love you Nicole, but not today. There are still fantasies of being a self-absorbed child hater. And, tonight there will be a big bowl of ice-cream with nuts, caramel and hot fudge, extra cherries and a few tears.

La Belette Rouge’s Fashion Icon #1

Nina Purviance West, an art consultant, studied art history at the Sorbonne in Paris, receiving her BA from Oberlin College in 1981. She began her career as a curatorial assistant at the Pennsylvania of Academy of Fine Arts in Philadelphia; subsequently she designed a contemporary art acquisitions program for CIGNA Corporation while pursuing her doctorate in art history at City University of New York. She joined Christie’s in 1988 as a Senior Specialist in American Art where she traveled the country appraising important art collections. Since 1996, Nina has been an independent art advisor for collectors, museums and corporations including Artfact.com. She now writes a weekly column about the international art market for Forbes.com. She is married to Andy West, an architect and has 2 teenage daughters, Blair and Grace and lives outside Boston (though she’d rather live in Paris).

I recently posed some fashion focused questions to the sartorially-savvy art expert; Ms. West graciously and generously answered.

LBR: What is your favorite item of clothing?

Nina: Hmm…very hard to say but I love a sleeveless black sheath dress that I bought at Saks years ago (designer unknown). I wear it everywhere from fancy parties to meetings to funerals.

LBR: What is your favorite outfit?

Nina: I’m a skirt girl. I love a good skirt and have tons of them…pencil skirts, A-line skirts,
pleated shirts, all lengths. My favorite is probably a black knee length skirt with a little flippy bottom. When I put it with a fitted blouse, black tights, a nice black pump and some jewelry, I feel great.

LBR: What are your favorite colors?

Nina: Almost any color except maybe yellow. I seem to gravitate to greens and blues and of course, black!

LBR:What do you think about when shopping?

Nina: To be perfectly honest, I look for clothes that don’t make me look fat. That sounds kind of pathetic but when you are pushing 50 years old and your size 6 jeans are but a distant memory, you look for clothes with slim lines.

LBR: Who are your favorite designers?

Nina: Prada, Balenciaga, Marc Jacobs and many, many others.

LBR: What is your personal philosophy of fashion?

Nina: I must admit that I am an expert shopper. I had years of living in New York and Paris
when budget was a big concern. I developed an eagle eye for good design at bargain prices. I also learned not to be a snob about where to shop. Fancy designer stores are not for me (almost too easy). I prefer off the beaten path stores or even (gulp) discount stores. I can find something cute anywhere. It just takes patience.

Sometimes I feel guilty about how much I love fashion and the number of hours I could spend shopping. I question whether fashion is worth all the time, effort and money, especially since I know there are so many better uses of my time. I mean wandering the aisles of a department store is kind of a major waste of time. But when I see something beautiful, my heart skips a beat and the mindless hours of wandering are all worth it.

LBR: On what items do you scrimp and what items to you splurge?

Nina: One thing that I don’t spend money on is bags. I own maybe 5 total. I hate the whole slouchy bag phenomenon because I think most of them are ugly. I guess I splurge on coats and boots. These are things that need to be great looking and last for awhile. I’m not really a big spender when it comes to fashion. While I love, love, love designer clothing, I’m too cheap to pay for it. Last week while in New York City, I did splurge on a great winter coat at Century 21 (famous discount store in lower Manhattan). Originally $1,500, I paid a quarter of that and very pleased with myself since I had seen it the day before at Bloomingdales at full price.

LBR: How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Nina: About 50 pairs including 5 pairs of ballet slippers.

LBR: Who are your fashion roles models?

Nina: Both Hepburns, Katherine and Audrey. Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman. I also admire Kristin Dunst’s style although I could never pull it off. I think Katie Holmes dresses really well, much as I hate to admit it because I can’t stand Tom Cruise.

LBR: What is your signature style?

Nina: I favor clean, classic lines, a la Audrey Hepburn. But I am a bit schizophrenic when it comes to fashion because I also love the off beat, bohemian look, like the stuff we see at Anthropologie. Though I look best in simple things, I am a sucker for pattern, especially vintage prints of any kind. I need to remind myself that these prints look better as tablecloths but sometimes I succumb to some quimsical 1950s printed dress.

I think you really have to learn what looks for on you. I know that I can’t wear certain styles as much as I’d like to and I am pretty disciplined about wearing simple lines, classic lines. Yesterday, I went through my closet with an editor’s eye and filled 3 bags of clothes for Goodwill. Today, I feel 10 pounds lighter! As I get older, I realize that less is more.

LBR: Merci, Nina, for this insider peek into your closet! Je vous adresse mes plus vifs remerciements!!! This was so very kind of you. And, dear, bloggy readers please visit Nina at Forbes.com and Artfact.com. You can read Nina’s latest article about the top art auctions of 2007, in which a painting by Paul Cezaane, “Nature Morte au Melon Vert,” went for an unprecedented $25.52 million dollars.

About Me

My name is Tracey, aka La Belette Rouge. I am a psychotherapist and the author of Freudian Sip @ Psychology Today. I blog about psychology, my therapy, dreams, writing, meaning making, home, longing, loss, infertility and other things that delight or inspire me. I try to make deep and elusive psychodynamic concepts accessible and funny. For more information, click here .

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